The New Guys
by Dragon-Racer101
Summary: Many long winded apologies for not updating, there new guys from hell are back and they need your help! Read and Review. Please? Zukos remaining sainity depends on it.
1. A somewhat weird interview

The New Guys

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar, if I did, I would be writing scripts instead of fan fiction

This is my first fan fic on the computer, so no flamers…Plz?

"You three girls will be assisting my son in his pointless…I mean, important quest to find the Avatar" Fire Lord Oreo, I mean Ozai! Said to three girls, "what about the cat?" A girl with long sliver hair and a ridiculously large boomerang asked. "Yes, especially the cat" Ozai muttered, the girls bowed, then ran off with a few shouts of "yippee! We're out of this dump!" And "road trip!" Ozai shook his head, and in a rare moment, almost felt sorry for his son…Almost people, almost.

A few days later at Zuko's ship: "Prince Zuko, come quick!" The once General Iroh, but now retired General yelled, Zuko came out of his meditation, and asked. "What is it? Something about the Avatar?" "No, your father sent us three recruits! They even brought a cat!" Iroh said, as happy as before. "I don't need anymore recruits!" Zuko said, sternly, "well, you can say that to your father" Iroh replied, Zuko growled, "a cat?" "Yeah, you know one of them things with whiskers and tail, chases mice, 9 lives, that sort of thing" Iroh explained, Zuko growled again "I know what a cat is, I'm asking why they brought one!" Zuko said. The two walked out on deck, as another fire navy ship came next to them, they  
put a board across, and 3 girls ran over from the ship to Zuko's. A mass cheer was heard from the other ship as it quickly left, well as quickly as a docked ship can go.

The 3 girls were wearing typical Fire Nation uniform, except for one, the one with short, black hair, and blue eyes. Her uniform was exactly like Zuko's, "you, the one with the black hair, why are you wearing my uniform!" Zuko asked, "Keiana, my name is Keiana, and these are your clothes, I thought they were kind of sucky" The black haired girl said, with as much attitude as Zuko. "WHAT!" He yelled, "She's saying your wardrobe sucks genius," a girl with long sliver hair said, Zuko growled. "What are your names?" He demanded, Zuko pointed to a girl with medium brown hair, green streaks, large brown Wolf ears and tail. "Sakura, wolf demon" The girl introduced, "Keiana, as I said before, half eleven," Keiana reintroduced "Raesha, just a regular human, well at lease I think I am anyway" The girl with the sliver hair says, happily. "Ok, now explain the cat" Zuko says, pointing to a small creamy coloured cat, it had black ears, paws were black, had a crescent moon on its forehead, the thing that made it most odd was it had two tails (think Kirara off Inu-Yasha, except for the moon on its forehead). "This is Naiowa, my demon cat!" Raesha said, holding the ball of fluff up. "Why a cat? Why not a dog, or a hamster?" Zuko asked, to be honest, he wasn't fond of cats, or anything cute and fuzzy. "Or better yet, no pet?" Zuko asked, Raesha sighed, "Naiowa is smarter than any dog, and our hamster, Mr. Snuggles, ended up in your old man's Chicken Soup, he wasn't happy after that one, we had a rat, that's either dead, or running around in the rafters, our parrot, Lucky, got taken out by a stray fire blast, and our fish, Gils, got eaten by Naiowa" Raesha explains, Zuko swore Naiowa shifted proudly as her "incident" with the fish was mentioned. "Can you bend?" Zuko asked, "earth" Sakura said, "fire and water" Keiana says, "earth! Fire and water! How?" Zuko demands, "because we can" Sakura says, "let me guess, you're an air bender?" Zuko asked, sarcastically, pointing at Raesha, "yeah, I can, how did you know?" She asks, "Where are you from?" Zuko asked.

"You sure you want the truth?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Already!"

" 100 positive you can handle it?"

"YES! DAMMIT!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I mean n- Jus- just answer the question!"

"Who's? Mine or yours?"

"Yours! I mean mine! Answer my question!"

"Ok! I'm from this little village called Ying in the Earth Kingdom!" Raesha says, smiling, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Zuko yells,  
"It fun messing with peoples minds" Raesha says, smiling still. Iroh chuckled this girls were funny, "ack! Whatever, Lieutenant! Show them their rooms!" Zuko yelled, "uh, Prince Zuko, Lieutenant Jee is on sick leave" Iroh says…Where Lieutenant Jee is, Lieutenant Jee is with a couple of war buddies at a huge party, "I told them other idiots that I was sick! And they brought it!" Lieutenant Jee says, holding up a mug of beer, a roar of laughter came from the other soldiers.

"Whatever" Zuko says, "follow me" He says, leading the three + cat down a hall….

That's all for this chappy 1, more 2 come soon, plz review! Or Naiowa wont be a happy kitty

Naiowa: Kitty! Excuse me! Did she just call me a kitty! Why I outa- sees a mouse MOUSE! Runs after mouse

Um….Not quite sure what to say now….sweat drop umm…..


	2. More chaos and stale muffins

Chapter 2: Stale muffins and more chaos... 

As I state before…I DON'T owe Avatar, and all related titles, characters and so on….I OWE ZIP!

No flamers, however tips, hints, stuff that can help improve my story is always welcome:D

**Mdalia: **Thank you so much! First reviewer! Have a cookie! Gives Mdalia a cookie Will do! Thanks for the tip!

Zuko showed the girls there quarters, along with the rest of the ship, with a few "you need an interior designer" comments, much to Zuko's annoyance.

"Any questions, queries?" Zuko asked, the girls looked thoughtful, when Naiowa gave a small "meow".

"Good question Naiowa! Hey, Zuko, do you allow cereal on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and every other Fridays?" Raesha interpreted, Zuko had one of those o.0 expressions.

"I think that's a yes" Keiana says, Sakura nodded.

"Now I have a question! Is that cat ship trained?" Zuko asked, Naiowa went from a casual 'whatever' look to a 'extremely-insulted-by-your-stupid-question-look' she gave a dignified meow. "That was a yes you jackass" Raesha once again interpreted again.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" Zuko yelled angrily.

"Hey, that's what Naiowa said! And besides, don't feel bad, she insults lots of people" Raesha said, still happy. Zuko gave a frustrated growl and walked off.

"He was weird" Sakura said.

"The nerve of him, questioning my intellect!" Naiowa said, yes she could talk, but shhh, don't tell!

"Don't worry Naiowa! He doesn't know how smart you are!" Raesha said, petting the demonic cat.

"Yeah, I still don't know why he didn't question Raesha's air bending abilities any further" Keiana said, as she watch Raesha play with Naiowa.

"Because, he's stupid, or the author forgot to mention that…but my money is on Zuko being dense," Sakura said.

Later that evening, Keiana, Sakura, Raesha and of course Naiowa were walking towards the room where the rest of the crew, soldiers, and generally anyone who was at a low rank were eating (a/n: I have absolutely no idea what the room would be called, if someone does, please tell). The first thing that they notice was that they were the only girls, so, naturally, the guys being deprive of female attention for so long, (a/n: really sorry if guys get offended by this) did wolf whistles, cat calls, and a few shouts of "you can sit with me, love!" Keiana cracked her knuckles, "girls…."

Zuko had just finished his properly prepared meal with his uncle, Iroh, who most people know and love. Zuko was rambling on about plans to capture the Avatar, Iroh, had learned a neat trick, its where you look like your paying full attention, but in actually aren't, its also works in school. "Sir, we landed at the Earth Kingdom port of Yuan" A random soldier said, Zuko nodded, then he headed to where the crew/soldiers/other low rank people ate.

"Now we can finally get some food!" Sakura said, taking a moment to admire her and her friend's handy work, all the men that were in the room were now laid everywhere, suffering from injuries, some minor, some bigger. Some with pretty shades of blues and purples. "I hear you" Keiana said, taking a seat at a table, the two other girls had 'dibs' there own table, Naiowa sat with Raesha, nibbling on a poorly cooked fish. Sakura took a bite out of a muffin from a basket. "Ewwwwww! Its stale!" She yelled, she hurled it at Raesha, which missed her head by a centimeter and made its way into the metal wall. "Hey, here's a good idea!" Keiana said, pulling a dartboard out of nowhere, she fixed it to the back of the door using fire bending. "All right! Muffin darts!" Raesha exclaimed, she threw a muffin as Zuko opened the door, it whizzed by his head and into, what else? A metal wall. "What did you do!" Zuko yelled, seeing his crew semi conscious everywhere. "First we- Raesha was cut of as Zuko continue to yell, "what do you call this!" He asked, pointing at the lodged muffins. "Dart Muffins, wanna play?" Sakura asked,

"or should it be Muffin Darts? Keiana, you invented it, you name it!" The Wolf Demon continued, Keiana shrugged, "I have no idea, lets leave it up to the reviewers, who by some miracle haven't switch to reading another fanfic yet! Ok! Whatever name gets the most votes, is the name for the game!" She declared. Zuko growled, causing smoke to go everywhere. "Since the rest of my crew is in med bay, you three will be coming with me!" Zuko said, "what about Naiowa?" Sakura asked. "Fine, the cat to" Zuko said, not bothering to argue.

That's it for chappy 2! Next time on "The New Guys" SHOPPING TRIP! Review! Or they might throw stale muffins at me.

Reader: Actually that's a good reason NOT to review!

Author: Awwwwwww, your not that mean! Are you?

Keiana: Nope, but we are! Juggles stale muffin in her hand

Sakura: Yeah, this is going to be fun….

Raesha: MUFFIN PARTY!

Zuko: Someone kill me before I have to put up with more of this!


	3. Shopping Spree!

Chapter 3: Shopping Spree! 

As per usual I do not owe Avatar if I did, well, it'll be a lot crazier, lets put it that way…

With many thanks to:

**Mdalia: **Zuko is my fave character, but that don't mean I can't poke fun at him! But yeah, most likely other Zuko fanatics are probably tracing my location as we speak, ummm type….

**FairyPyrateChaosJoe: **Thank ya for voting!

Naiowa getting poked by a stick : mutters I hate you all…

Raesha: We love you to Naiowa, now please say it….

Naiowa: On with the story…--;;;

Raesha: YAY!

* * *

Last time on "The New Guys" Zuko and co ended up at a port right! Just nod your head and pretend you have an idea what I'm talking about. 

Yuan was mutli-nation, so they didn't have to worry about being attacked or stuff like that. "Ohhhhhhh, pretty paint colour!" Raesha exclaimed, going from stall to stall in a matter of minutes. "Raesha's new game, speed shopping" Sakura said, eyeing a sword, "well I could always use a new blade" She said. "Your kidding right?" Zuko asked, as his uncle went to buy what else? Tea. "I would, but, no, we're not" Keiana said, walking off. Zuko was about to walk over to his uncle, when an old lady yelled "FIRE NATION!" No one else couldn't care less, the old lady began to whack Zuko with her bag.

"Shouldn't we help him?" Sakura asked Keiana, Keiana shrugged and then replied.

"No, were suppose to help him with the Avatar, not some old lady" Keiana said, watching Zuko being attacked by the old lady.

"I see ya point" Sakura said, fixing her newly brought sword to her side. "Ow! Shit! Lady what is wrong with you!" He demanded, the lady out of exhaustion, gave Zuko one last whack before retreating to a Pai Chow stall.

"Uncle! How much tea do you need?" Zuko asked, Iroh looked at a few different packages, "there are so many different types, Jasmine, Herbal, Gin Sing, Lemon, Orange…" He said, carefully studying each type. Zuko rolled his eyes, then he looked around. 'Old people arguing over vegetables, some crazy cabbage guy, thieves stealing bread, the avatar and his dorky friends' then his mind registered the word "avatar".

"THE AVATAR! AFTER HIM!" Zuko yelled, "uh-oh!" Aang said, creating a whirlwind for him and his friends to escape. Zuko chased after the young, well technically old Avatar, he threw a fireball at them, Aang blocked it with a wall of air. "Go cool off!" Katara said, throwing water from a near by well at the prince, Zuko, having little sense of humor, wasn't amuse. However, he was frozen at his feet, he used his fire bending to release him, however, Momo, and his human pets (a/n: MOMO CONTROLS ALL! Sry…. It slipped out). "Wow, tough break, he was right in front of you!" Raesha said, Naiowa nodded, she didn't feel like talking to the spoiled and what she considered stupid prince. Zuko yelled,  
"YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO HELP ME CAPTURE THE AVATAR!" Sakura and Keiana came over.  
"You didn't do your job!" He continued to yell, the girls and cat shrugged, "wouldn't be the first time" Sakura said. Flashback thingy "Under no circumstances are you allowed to let anybody inside the Fire Lords bedroom, is that clear?" A solider is telling a more than bored Sakura. "Yeah, yeah, nobody gets in" She replies, filing her nails, the solider is a confused by her bored tone, but leaves her be…. Half an hour later, the same solider comes to see how Sakura is doing, however when he got there, people were walking in and out, there were shouts of "party" and "drink, drink, drink!" Sakura was standing at the door, welcoming in anybody. End flashback thingy  
"Good times, good times" She said, Zuko looked at Sakura as if she was insane. The girls walked into there separate directions before Zuko could protest.

Half and hour and six types of tea later: The girls and cat were back at Zuko's ship, carrying a ton of huge bags.

"There is no way you could afford all this on minimum wage!" Zuko exclaimed, "your right, which we why we gambled a few cough drunk cough people out of there paychecks!" Keiana said. "Not to mention stupid...Very stupid" Sakura added, "they all were stupid Sakura, you know that!" Keiana said with a laugh.

"Whatever, do you need all of this!" Zuko demands "no, this is what we need" Raesha says, holding up a really small bag.

"And that would be?" Zuko asked

"Your uncle's tea and whip cream" Raesha replies

"Whip cream!"

"Yeah, Naiowa is going to cook cream pie, don't ask what she's going to do with a cream pie, she so hush-hush when it comes to stuff like that"   
Zuko's good eye twitched, "the rest is stuff we like" Raesha said. "Ah, it is nice having someone who knows a good bargain or four" Iroh says, who had also done his own shopping spree. Zuko rolled his eyes and went aboard the ship muttering something about how to get rid of the girls and cat, while making it look like an accident…

* * *

Wow, it was kind of short…Next time, More flashbacks and training! See ya! Dont forget to review! Reviewing makes me type faster! 

Zuko: Do you know how much I want to burn your computer!  
Naiowa: About as much you want to burn Zhao?

Sakura: When do we get to diss Zhao?

Me: Very soon….MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Naiowa: Cookoo, cookoo

everyone nods in agreement


	4. Training, Flashbacks, and Naiowas Reveng

Chapter 4: Naiowa's Revenge, Training, and more flashbacks 

Last chappy was kind of lame, and I'm apologize for its lame-ness

Naiowa: How a bout apologizing for the lame-ness of this fanfic?

Reading from a cue card Naiowa: Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe avatar…Can someone shoot me before I have to act in any more chapters!

Zuko: Not until you shoot me first….

Me: Hey, that's not in the script!

Naiowa: It is in mine

The girls had a shopping spree and a short encounter with the avatar and co right!

Naiowa's plan was perfect, she made her cream pie, (a/n: How she did it without opposable thumbs or human help I'll never know, this is a comedy, so scientific details aren't that important right!) her string was set, and if her calculations were right, Zuko was doomed! Well, doom might be a tad to extreme. Naiowa ducked around a corner, she clutched the string in her paws (a/n: yes, I know, I'm breaking all not-possible-without-opposable-thumbs rules…But in the name of comedy!) Then she played the waiting game!

Zuko was heading towards his room; many puzzling thoughts were in his head. 'Must capture Avatar…. Get honor back…. Restore birthright….' Ok, not that puzzling, however, with his train of thoughts, he wasn't really paying attention what was in front of him, which were some string and a cream pie. _WHIZZ! _Naiowa pulled the string, tripping Zuko, his face landed directly into the pie.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naiowa was curled into a ball and laughing. Hard. And with a paw pointed at Zuko. 'A cat…. A cat is mocking me! WHY THAT LITTLE FUZZBALL!' Zuko thought, he stood straight up. Fire emerged from his hands; Naiowa made a small, "oh-oh" noise, and did the smart thing and ran. Zuko ran after the demon kitty, Naiowa made her way into Raesha's arms, Raesha who was in the middle of a spirited thumb war with Sakura. "Ha ha, victory by default! What could be better!" She said, happily, Raesha was about to challenge Sakura again, when she paused to see Zuko, his face covered in cream pie, Sakura and Raesha snickered and then burst out laughing.

Zuko cried "Enough! Hand over that cat!" Naiowa jumped out of Raesha's arms and onto her shoulder. It stuck her tongue out at Zuko, which fueled his rage even more.

"What did she do?" Raesha asked, innocently as possible, while trying to hold back more laughs,

"That stupid cat did this to me!" Zuko yelled, pointing at his cream covered face

"Cant be that stupid then can it?" Sakura says, walking off to cause more mischief. Zuko growled and caused smoke to go everywhere, Naiowa, being the smart cat that she is, ran inside, avoiding Zuko's wrath. Raesha laughed and walked off, leaving a very annoyed Zuko.

Later, Zuko was all cleaned up, and out of either boredom/anxiety/nervous habit was sparring, with his not so trusty uncle giving him constructive criticism, as well as some useless and mind boggling proverbs that have nothing to do with fighting, combat, sparring, or any other term for beating the snot out of anything. Keiana, Sakura, Raesha and of course, Naiowa, were watching from the sidelines, well, if you call thumb wars, scroll reading, and sleeping, watching then yes, they were paying full attention, then for the sake of this chapter plot, Iroh gets an idea.

"Would you like to join Zuko in some training?"

"Ohhhhhhh! Like training camp? I had so much fun at training camp!" Raesha says excitedly. Flashback warp affect thingy Raesha, Sakura, and Keiana were doing push ups along with other troops, Raesha is talking to Sakura and Keiana, while a captain (a/n: I couldn't think of what else he'll be called) is barking stuff like "give me 20 more!" and "put your back into it". Upon closer inspection we see it's the fire nation guy, from 'episode 10: Jet, the fruit loop' however, he doesn't have his eye patch yet. "You, what are you doing?" He barks, Raesha stood up "I'm talking to my friends, sir! But you can continue harassing and embossing my comrades, sir!" Raesha says, giving the two-fingered salute, however, she thrust to far forward an ended up poking the guys left (a/n: I think it was his left eye, if it aint will someone please tell me) eye. He covered his eye and screamed, "sir! I think I took out your left eye! I think you should report to med bay sir!" Raesha says, saluting again, and hitting the guy's eye, again. The captain runs off, screaming and holding his eye end flashback thingy .

Raesha has a dreamy look in her eyes; everyone else takes a step away from Raesha.

"Then again, Keiana has her share of fun there" She continues another flashback thingy for the hell of it Keiana, and a row of other soldiers are in a line up, a commanding guy is yelling at Keiana, who rolled her eyes, "will you shut up?" She asked, punching the guy out and walking out of the place…the other soldiers were o.0 End flashback

"Well, as long you don't salute, you'll be fine!" Iroh says, as if nothing ever happened ,

"I don't fight girls" Zuko said, calmly, Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and even Naiowa had a look that look likes someone had slapped them. Keiana cracked her knuckles.

"THAT'S IT! YOUR GOING DOWN PRINCEY!" She says, sending a quick fireball at Zuko, Zuko narrowly misses it; Zuko sent a quick fireball after another. One hit Keiana, knocking her on the ground, opps, deck (a/n: my fight scenes kinda suck but bear with me, plz? Naiowa: This fanfic sucks) Zuko walked over to Keiana, fists curled into a ball, ready for another fireball, when Keiana said, "opening!" Zuko stopped with a "huh?" That's when Keiana kicked him in his right shin, hard. "OW!" Zuko yelled, Keiana was getting the better of him.

5 minutes later, a few recovering crew members were gathering around, with mummers of  
he's getting his ass kicked" "Ha-ha, he had it coming" "by a girl to!" Raesha called out.

"Hey! Keiana, when's it our turn?"

"Fine then" Keiana said, tripping Zuko and slapping Raesha's hand, Raesha squealed in delight. Zuko got up, annoyed and pissed that he's supposed loyal crew were mocking him. 'First the stupid cat and now this' He thought, "yoo-hoo? C'mon, wake up! Already" Raesha said, still cheery. Zuko growled and sent a quick, more aggressive fireball at Raesha, who created a quick wall of air, causing the flames to go everywhere, it caused a few crewmembers to duck.

"WATCH IT RAESHA! YOU ALMOST HIT MY TAILS!" Naiowa yelled, "It talks! That thing talks!" Zuko exclaimed, "yeah, didn't you know that Zuko?" Iroh asked, "Hey I haven't finished kicking your butt yet!" Raesha says, pulling a Keiana and tripping Zuko, however she did it with air bending. Iroh gave a chuckle, "I think that's all for one day" Zuko got up he wanted answers.

The girls and duh, Naiowa were sitting at table, Zuko was circling around them like a predator, or a drunken clown fed up with a rubber nose or even in a cheesy cop show scene. "Since when could that thing talk?" He barked, Naiowa rolled her eyes "before you could you idiot" She replied, sipping at a cup of Gin Sing tea that Iroh had made, the old (?) man was sipping at his own cup.

"QUIT SAZZING ME! NOW AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD TALK!" Zuko yelled, Naiowa looked thoughtful, then at her human well, humanoid friends, they shrugged and nodded with a few words of "yeah" "think so" and "your just dense to notice anything" Zuko looked at his uncle, surely his loving, caring, understanding uncle will help him.

"Actually, I had some delightful conversations with Naiowa, and a few close games of Pai Chow with her to" was Iroh's response. "Thanks a lot" Zuko said, "Can we go play Muffin Darts?" (a/n: Until we get more votes. Muffin Darts is the name of the game) Sakura asked, getting up.

"NO! YOU THREE GET CLEAN UP DUTY!" Zuko yelled.

That's it for Chappy 4! Next time: Why the girls don't get to do clean up duty anymore!

Zuko: Why me!

Me: Because you're the most popular character and its about time some one knocked you

Zuko: I hate my animated life

Naiowa: Awwwwwww, poor Zuki-Chan!

Iroh: Live and let live!

Zuko: UNCLE NO TIME FOR YOUR PROVERBS!

Me: Review plz! Or they use me for Muffin Dart practice

Keiana: Why do you give readers good reasons not to review?


	5. Clean up duty, what fun! Literally!

Chapter 5: Why they get out of clean up duty 

**  
FairyPyrateChaosJoe**: Thank ya! Yes, dissing Zhao and torturing Zuko is so much fun! (Zhao gets knocked in the next chappy :D)

Raesha (excitedly): Ok, all together now!  
Everyone else unenthusiastically: Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe Avatar, or anything worth millions of dollars

Me: Don't have to rub it in…

Naiowa got revenge, Zuko got beaten on, and it's a miracle the Zuko fanatics haven't killed me yet

Naiowa: No, there smart and started reading other fanfics, they ignore this piece of garbage

* * *

Zuko gave the girls a mop each and a bucket of soapy water,

"You so know the way to a girls heart" Keiana said sarcastically, Zuko gritted his teeth and walked off. "I want this hall sparkling when I come back" He said, heading towards his room, the girls looked at each other with a 'yeah right' look. Naiowa appeared, "so, we're going to do what we did in the Fire Palace?"

**Flashback** The girls, and must I type it, Naiowa, were given the exact same assignment. "Now, remember you must make this floor sparkle!" A way-to-positive-and-neat-freak-random-palace-guy said, his accent had "pizzazz" in it. The girls had a look of shock, and horror at his accent. As soon as the guy left, the girls pushed the buckets of water everywhere. "Ok, time to have fun!" Raesha says, taking off her boots. Sakura and Keiana put their hands up to their face and in a sport announcer voice said. "Raesha is all lined up";

"Here I go!" Raesha says, sliding on her feet, she skittered for a good few meters before crashing into a wall, and causing an expensive vase to smash into a few dozen pieces. "Oooo, she smashed a vase, that'll earn her bonus points, Keiana" Sakura says,

"Yeah, next up, the demon cat with attitude, give it up for Naiiooooooowa!" Keiana says, echoing Naiowa's name. And what can the author say from here? **End flashback **

"DUH!" The girls exclaimed, kicking the buckets over, and throwing their mops away, the girls kicked off their shoes, and well, you read the flashback.

Zuko was quietly meditating, well he was until he heard crashing sounds, "ahahahaha! That'll dock ya a few points" "oooh! We have a new record!" "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Zuko, growled; 'now they manage to make clean up duty fun….' He thought, as he head out of the room, a few other crewmembers and his uncle stuck their heads out of rooms to see what the noise was about. Zuko to his expected, and yet somewhat surprised he saw Naiowa, and unfortunately those recruits that his father had dumped on him were sliding on the floor.

"What in blazes are you- WHOA!" Zuko had slipped before he could ask a stupid question Naiowa sledded over to Zuko in an empty bucket- Raesha dumped the cat in there and pushed her before Naiowa could protest- as if Raesha would pay attention anyway.

"Hey Zuko, you cleaning to?" Naiowa asked, sticking her head out of the bucket, Zuko growled at Naiowa, Naiowa looked at Zuko with a puzzled look, and then gave Zuko a growl, and it wasn't one of those little kitty growls, it was big, something like when you yank a lions tail, or maybe a liger's tail. You know, a loud growl thing, Zuko ignored it, well after he stared at Naiowa in shock for a few minutes. "YOU THREE CANNOT BE NEAR EACH OTHER! YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN!" He yelled, pointing at Raesha who shrugged and walked towards the kitchen, "YOU CLEAN THE HALLS!" He pointed at Sakura, who muttered, "Boo, you suck" but other than that, didn't care. "AND YOU! CLEAN THE DECK!" He yelled at Keiana, "you never want an air bender to clean your kitchen" She said, walking off, Zuko was about to ask, when he heard a loud crash, and "It was like that when I got here!" He looked at Naiowa "well, I hope you like shopping for expensive junk" was her response, she walked off to remind a few crewmembers of there personal pain.

Zuko walked towards the kitchen, more or less; following the crashes and smashes, and bashes and whatever other smashy word rhymes with that. He opened the door to see Raesha, as well as broken plates, bowls, umm slightly smaller plates, and those nifty little desert bowls broken, it looked liked a mini tornado had gone through there, or a delusional air bender. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" Zuko yelled, Raesha shrugged, "I cleaned the kitchen…. Well, you gotta admit you could have used a bit of redecorating anyway" Zuko made frustrated noises and walked off, he went to see how Sakura was doing.

"Ok, I lay down 2 and I pull you up 4!" Sakura says, laying down a few cards, she was playing polka with three devastated crewmembers, instead of sweepings the halls; she broke the brooms and was sitting on a bucket. "Uh, Sakura, da' man behinds ya!" A slurred one said, she turned around "hey Zuko, what sup? You playin'?" Sakura asked completely calm. "WHY ARENT YOU WORKING!" He yelled, Sakura shrugged "hey, these guys suck at polka what can I say?" Zuko gave made a movement to strangle Sakura, however, breathed deeply and walked of.

As soon as Zuko was around the corner,"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zuko yelled, "HEY MY EARS YOU FRUIT LOOP!" Naiowa yelled, Sakura and her polka buddies shrugged and continue to play polka, Raesha left the kitchen a disaster area and started practicing Muffin Darts and Keiana, hey what was Keiana doing!

Keiana was playing Pai Chow with Iroh, "Interesting move" the elderly complemented, "hey, didn't my nephew give you a job to do?" He asked, Keiana shrugged "yeah, but think about it, who does there job on this ship!" She asked, as Iroh slid a piece across "I see your point" Iroh says.

Sakura ,Raesha and Naiowa who had finished there "important" jobs and were watching Iroh and Keiana play Pai Chow, Zuko came in a very annoyed mood (what else is new!)

"YOU THREE ARE NEVER ALLOWED CLEAN UP DUTY AGAIN!" He yelled, the three girls and demon cat gave each other high fives "yes! Our evil plan worked!" Naiowa said! "EVIL PLAN!" Zuko yelled/questioned "duh! Aint, it obvious? We planned this whole thing!" Sakura says.

"Yup, from making the kitchen a mess to Sakura's polka games!" Raesha exclaimed happily. The girls laughed and walked off, which left Naiowa to say something very important.

"YOU GOT P'UNKED!" Zuko stared at the little cat for a second

"Yeah, she's right, you did" Iroh says, "and I didn't get to finish my game"

* * *

Wow, what a chapter! That's my longest yet, I'm thinking of fixing up chapter 3, anyway, next time: Zhao, he just wants a little respect…. HA! Well there's a joke for ya!

Zuko: Finally! My revenge on Zhao!

Keiana: Your revenge!

Sakura: I don't think so!

Raesha: How come you hate him?

Naiowa: Who cares who hates who, and who wants to kill who, we get to diss Zhao!

Everyone apart from Naiowa: YEAH!

Review Please!


	6. Zhao's visit he just wants respectHA

Chapter 6: Zhao just wants respect. HA!

**FairyPyrateChaosJoe**: Great job keeping up with the story, yes I meant poker,  
that's what happens when you get a card game and a dance (yup it's a dance I   
think) with similar names confused. I hope this is hysterically funny

**Mdalia**: Thank ya, another great job keeping up with the story! I hope this is funny enough!

With thanks to my pal, **Cellarias1073**, who helped me write this.

Zuko got punked, the girls get out of clean up duty, and Iroh didn't get to  
finish his game of Pai Chow.

Zuko: I want to die so badly  
Naiowa: Yeah, I want you to die to, however, I'm afraid of all the rabid fan   
girls   
Zuko: Its good to be loved  
Me: SAY IT ALREADY!  
Zuko: Oh right, Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe Avatar, or anything worth   
mentioning   
Me: Don't have to be so cruel about it **pouts **

* * *

Zuko was in an extremely, rare, once in a few lifetimes moments was happy, he manage to capture the avatar, he was allowed back home, the girls were  
dead, and the cat was no more than a smelly rotting carcass. His father   
restored his honor, and he was fir-  
"Is he ok?" Raesha asked, the girls and duh! Cat was staring at Zuko, who  
was daydreaming.  
"Lets find out, HEY ZUKO! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Keiana yelled, whacking Zuko at  
the back of his head, "ow, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" He yelled,   
"You were out of it, so we brought you back to reality" Sakura said. Zuko  
growled.

"You know that growling mustn't be good for ya!" Sakura said,  
"don't you have anything better to do! LIKE REPAIRING MY KITCHEN!" Zuko  
yelled/asked, Raesha and Naiowa had disappeared. "Where'd they go?" He   
asked, "Either cause mischief, laugh at people, or room raiding" Keiana  
said.   
"Room raiding?" Zuko asked  
"Its where you go into someone's room and dig up embarrassing stuff, like   
there diary" Sakura explained, "its fun, you can even dig up stuff from  
there most embarrassing moments" Keiana says.  
"Any idea who's room there going to raid?" Zuko asked,"who knows, it could be anyone from Jee to Iroh" Sakura said.

Zuko was headed to his room when he heard."RAIDING PARTY!" Zuko ran inside, to see the door lock was picked at, he was  
about to open the door when Raesha with Naiowa on her shoulder, opened the   
door, she carried a book at her side.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!" Zukoyelled, "I was umm.seeing the pressure of the ur.. Oh hell, I was room   
raiding! Actually we were room raiding" Raesha said mentioning Naiowa.

"YOU PICKED MY LOCK! AND RAIDED MY ROOM!" Zuko screamed, Raesha nodded "and we  
found your diary! SEE YA!" She said, running while air bending, leaving  
Zuko in the dust, literally. "I HATE AIR BENDERS!" He screamed once again,  
Jee who was watching him, shook his head "sad" Jee said, walking off,  
unfortunately for Jee, Zuko heard that and yelled.  
"YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THAT RAISE!"

Fore score and everyone is now reading a copy of Zuko's diary (a/n: I might  
just do a copy of Zuko's diary, and duh its gunna be a comedy) just when   
Zuko thought his day couldn't get any worse, a soldier from the shaved   
monkey, I mean Zhao, came and said that his monkey master, umm.. Well, oh   
who cares he's a shaved monkey (Zhao: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Author: SHUT IT  
OR ITS BACK TO THE ZOO! Zhao: I'll be good) is visiting and he wants all   
information on the Avatar.  
"Ah, Zuko, what a nice surprise" Zhao said, taking a seat,  
"Its Prince Zuko, and your on my ship" Zuko reminded the monkey admiral.  
"Whatever, I'm going to cut the-" "CHEESE" Zhao was interrupted by a  
hysterical Naiowa; Zhao saw the little demonic cat.

"YOUR THAT STUPID CAT THAT ATTACKED ME!"

**Flash back** Zhao is walking by where Raesha and Keiana are  
guarding a war room, he is about to enter it when Naiowa springs out of   
nowhere and starts biting Zhao's foot,

"what the! Stupid cat! Off my foot!"  
He yells, trying to kick Naiowa off, Naiowa, being a demon cat and having a  
way stronger bite force than a regular non-demon cat, bit harder.

"I got you now monkey" Naiowa says, still sinking her teeth in, "hey Naiowa" Keiana  
said dully, not really fazed by the fact that Naiowa is biting Zhao, Naiowa  
never liked monkeys, not even shaved ones. "Is this your crazed cat!" Zhao  
barked, "nope, its hers" Keiana says, pointing to an extremely bored Raesha,  
who is filing her nails. "GET YOUR BLOODY CAT OFF ME!" Zhao yells, Raesha  
who wasn't at all surprised, or not at that entire caring that Naiowa was   
attacking the monkey shrugged, continued to file her nails and in a dull,   
bored tone said.  
"Down, bad cat, no, bad" Zhao looked at the two girls as if they were  
insane.   
"Hey, she tried, its not our fault you look like a monkey" Keiana says, **end  
flashback** (a/n: I think I'll get the award for the most insane flashbacks)

"Hey monkey man" Naiowa said, licking her paw, Zhao growled, "monkey man!"Zuko smirked; finally someone was picking on Zhao. At that moment, or more rather for the sake of this fan fic and another crazy flashback.

Keiana, Sakura and Raesha came in, "Zuko, read ya diary, and two syllables,   
bor-ing!" Sakura says. "YOU!" Zhao says pointing at the three girls.

**another crazy flashback, which involves Zhao being knocked**

Raesha ran into a large meeting, which included everyone from the Fire Lord to Zhao and a hoard of   
other rich and noble guys. "SIR I HAVE URGENT NEWS!" Raesha yelled,  
saluting, "what is it?" Okapi, opps Ozai says,  
I finally found over whelming evidence that Zhao is in fact a shaved   
monkey!" Raesha says, pulling out a bunch of charts and scrolls,  
"WHAT!" Zhao and Ojai- OZAI! Yelled.  
"Well, after carefully studying Zhao's and a monkeys DNA, and not so   
scientific tests I-  
"Yo, Raesha, the other important news" Sakura said, sitting on the job and  
reading a scroll.  
"Oh right,our hamster, Mr. Snuggles, likes Chicken Soup but he aint a good  
swimmer, so if there's something small and furry in your soup, that'll be   
him" Raesha says, now, everyone was eating Chicken Soup at the time, apart   
from the guards. All of them spluttered and spit out there Chicken Soup, and  
then Keiana raced in "more urgent news sir!" She yells, giving a quick bow.  
Olay, authors bad Ozai, roared "NOW WHAT!"  
"I dared these two guys to have a fire fight by the explosives near the west wall of the palace near  
Commander Monkey's ship, and well, its got blown sky high!" Keiana explained,  
Zhao melted the spoon he was eating with, spoons are hot when   
melted.Resulting in a burn for Zhao. Sakura then said  
"well, my shift is over, before I forget, Zhao, the circus left a telegram for ya, they want there shaved monkey back"  
The girls walked off, leaving a very annoyed and angry fire lord and monkey commander **End flashback**  
"Oh yeah, good times hey Commander Monkey?" Sakura says,"I'M NOT A MONKEY! AND ITS ADIRMIRL!" Zhao yelled

. "Fine then! It inconclusive!" Keiana says then whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.  
"He's in denial" Raesha and Sakura nodded in agreement.

Naiowa stared at Zhao's face, "WHAT YOU LITTLE FREAK!" He barked,"Nothing, I'm in love with the fly on your face!" Naiowa said, Zhao whacked  
his nose to get rid of the "fly" and ended there was a loud cracking sound  
as he broke his own nose. Naiowa laughed,  
"I GOT THE MONKEY TO BREAK HIS OWN NOSE!" Before Zhao could say/do anything,  
the girls picked him up and dragged him "sorry, we have a strict, no monkey policy" Keiana said,  
"That's right, nice seeing you again though commander Monkey" Raesha says.  
Sakura nodded  
"Bye bye now!" And with that, they threw Zhao back onto his own ship (hey,  
remember Sakura's a wolf demon and Keiana's half elven, so for the sake of   
this chapter, they can throw far) Zuko smirked and said quietly "I like my  
new recruits". Zuko opened his bedroom door, his room was a huge mess, it  
looked like someone had a party in there. He growled

Where Aang and co is, it was nice and peaceful when they heard Zuko's voice   
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" "What was that!" Katara asked.  
"If I didn't know any better I'd say it was Zuko yelling an empty threat at  
the top of his lungs" Sokka said, Aang, Momo, and Katara stared at Sokka in  
shock, he said something intelligent!  
"Sokka, you-you said something.. Smart!" Aang said surprised. "Huh? Food?  
WHERE!" Sokka asked, back to his umm, I cant make this sound nice can I?   
Sokka went back to his regular dumb self.

* * *

WOWS! Almost 3 pages on Word! I better get some reviews for this! Next time on   
The New Guys: Pranks, and more random humor  
Sokka: I can say smart stuff  
Katara: What? Food names?  
Zhao: HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU CALL ME A MONKEY!  
Me: Roughly around 8-9, but there could be more, and most likely more in   
later chapters  
Zuko: YOU BROKE YOUR OWN NOSE! HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT STUPID!  
Raesha: Well, you left your diary in an easy spot, the top drawer! By your   
bed!   
Sakura: It was really dull, just garbage on capturing the Avatar and   
restoring honor..Yawn! 


	7. Pranks, Marshmallows, joke lessons

Chapter 7: Pranks, and a lot more random junk 

**Darkmariel**: Keiana and Sakura are creations of my two friends; Naiowa and Raesha are mine, apart from Naiowa's name, which is also from a friend. And for the bending, hopefully this chapter will clear things up, if not raises more questions that don't need to be answered, and yes, guys getting beaten on by girls is fun! If they do get mary sue-ish, plz tell me so I can fix that

**Mdalia**: Thank ya! I also liked that chapter, hopefully this one aint that bad either. Yeah, but I think we all agree that Zhao is certantly a shaved primate of some kind-maybe Momo's distant cousin! XD

Zhao was taunted, broke his own nose, Zuko's room got raided; there was more flashbacks, and generally a lot of Zhao bashing….

Zhao: I AINT A MONKEY!

Sakura, sarcastically: Sure your not

Zhao: I'M NOT!

Author: uh-hum?

Naiowa: Why do I have to say these things!

Sakura: You'll do anything for a roasted newt and besides everyone loves your attitude

Zhao: I don't

Sakura: Everyone that counts, loves your attitude

Naiowa: Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe Avatar…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

* * *

It was two am, everyone was asleep, well, everyone apart from three girls hyped up on sugar cookies and a demon cat that just loves to mess with anyone at 2 am.  
"Now, this is very simple, even for a bunch of mortals, now, you all remember your cues?" Naiowa asked, she referred to most people mortals, well, she couldn't to Sakura, but hey, she's on a sugar high, so she'll let anything slide. The nodded, "great! Now places!" Naiowa said cheerily, Keiana crept slowly towards Zuko's door, while Sakura and Raesha putting white sheets over their heads and hiding behind the corner, Naiowa took her own position, on top of Zuko's door. 

Keiana knocked, just loud enough to wake Zuko, then she bailed into a broom closet as quickly as possible, and as quietly, while holding back giggles. Which are all hard to do when you're plotting something hilarious, well if it all works…Wait, why would she care? As long as it annoys Zuko! Which is very highly

Zuko sat up in his warm, comfortable bed, grumbling what moron woke him up at 2 am. He opened his door, no one there, he was about to close it when he heard a faint _pit, pat, pit, pat_ as if some was walking lightly across the hall, if he had looked up, he would have seen Naiowa lightly tapping her paws on top of his door. But for the sake of this chapter and their prank, he didn't (Zuko: Sure, take their side! Author: There, there, I'll take your side later Zuko: Really? Author: No). He walked slowly towards the sound, well what he was sure was the sound, it was something out of the horror movie, you know, lone person walks down a hall late at night towards a mysterious sound? It's way overused, which is exactly why it's in this fic. As Zuko turned the corner, Raesha and Sakura jumped out "ITSABUNGI!" Screamed Raesha, "BOO!" Yelled Sakura, Zuko, naturally, screamed, loud, and kind of girlishly. "Raesha you numbskull! You're supposed to yell boo! Its how it's done!" Sakura said, taking off her "ghost" disguise. Raesha shrugged, "oh well, itsabungi not only freaks them out, but confuses them as well"  
"I see, who knew Zuko could scream so high, and uhh girly" Sakura commented, Naiowa skittered to them, laughing, "Zuko, you are so easy to prank!" Zuko growled. "YOU WOKE ME UP AT 2 AM FOR A STUPID PRANK!" He yelled, "yeah, clever we know" Keiana said,  
"CLEVER! HOW ABOUT STUPID AND MORONIC!" He screamed, "yeah, it was, but worth is, now were gunna burn marshmallows, you in?" Naiowa asked,  
"NO! ITS 2 AM I WANT TO SLEEP! NO ONE IS SUPPOSE TO BE UP AT THIS HOUR!" He continued. "THEN WHY DON'T YOU DAMN TEENAGERS SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP THEN!" Jee yelled from his room, which was three feet away from Zuko and co.  
"YEAH REALLY!" Came another yell from another room, "WE'VE DESERVE SOME SLEEP!"  
Zuko looked constipated for a second and then yelled  
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" Then Naiowa shouted "OK WE'LL SHUT IT! NOW REMEMBER THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL INTELLIGENCE IMPROVES!" Naiowa considered most people stupid and idiotic, and quite frankly, don't we all? There were some groans and well more moans. Zuko growled "I don't care what you do as long as do don't disturb anyone!" He said in a harsh whisper, walking off to his room, the girls high 5'd each other, then went to start a fire in a stupid spot to burn marshmallows.

The next morning: Zuko woke with a groan, wishing that those recruits were just some type of nightmare, however, that wasn't the case. He wearily put on his armor, wondering what idiocy he'll be put through today, he opened the door to see a hysteric solider, who'll we call Solider due to a lack of creativity. "SIR! LIKE ERGENT NEWS MAN! LIKE TOP PIROITY MAN!" Solider said, waving his arms around in a panic, "WHAT IS IT! THE AVATAR!" Zuko asked, like some little kid wanting lollies or a cookie. "NO! WORSE! ALL OUR POINTY STICK THINGS HAVE VANISHED!" Solider yelled, Zuko was puzzled at "pointy stick things" but then thought  
"Your spears?" He asked, "YEAH! THEM TO! THEY'RE ALL GONE! NOW HOW ARE WE SUPPOSE TO LOOK MENACING AND SCARY!" Solider said, freaking out more , Zuko rolled his eyes, he just got up and was already putting up with stupidity. "Ok, I'll find out about your spears now, go, uhh take your medication or something" Zuko says, wondering if the guy really was on medication, apparently he was because he nodded and ran off, before running into a wall, Zuko sighed, he had to get the problem ones, 'why isn't there any normal, obedient, loyal lackeys anymore?' Zuko thought. He wondered off to where he saw Keiana, Sakura, Raesha and that annoying cat Naiowa sitting around the remains of a large fire, one that way oversized and dangerous on a ship.  
"What did you burn for your bon fire last night?" Zuko asked, having a feeling that they had something to do with the missing spears. "These pointy stick things, they couldn't stab a fly" Naiowa says, "Yeah, really, they make great marshmallow sticks though" Keiana says,  
"you burned all the spears!" Zuko said, his voice rising in anger, "uhh, yeah, marshmallow?" Sakura says, holding up a burnt marshmallow that was still on fire. "Why thank you" Iroh says, taking the marshmallow. "UNCLE! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM! WHERE WERE YOU LAST CHAPTER?" Zuko asked, "I came from my mother, I was sleeping through the last chapter, no one needed me so the author gave me a tea break" Iroh explains, putting out the fire and eating the marshmallow. "And besides, we did you a favor, those sticks are lame" Keiana said, "come on, we got more plans to do" They nodded and walked off, Naiowa walked in a different direction. Leaving a more confused than usual Zuko,

Later: Keiana is watching the ocean. "How does an earth bender, air bender, fire/water hybrid get hired?" Zuko asked, "easy, we just put Fire Nation and under bending: Fire, there to stupid to do tests or background info, wouldn't surprise me if spies were hired, and think about it, Zhao got hired didn't he?" Keiana explained, Zuko sweat drops (the anime style) "sadly, it makes sense" he says walking off towards his room, as he opened his door, a bucket of uhh goop fell on him, "WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled, taking off the bucket. Naiowa who was talking to a few crewmembers said "raw pancake mix in a bucket, fixed above a door, old, simple, and effective" The crew members nodded, and ahh, and wrote it down. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Zuko yelled, "not all people are blessed with the knack for pranks, so I'm helping them reach their inner-prankster" Naiowa says. "Now next we'll work on good old harmless mental abuse, our target for this lesson, Zhao, come along class" the cat continues leading them down a hall.

Zuko growled and wiped the goop of his face. "I swear one of these days" he says he takes of his shoes, he headed towards his bed, when _snap_ Zuko felt a throbbing pain in his big toe, he looked down to see a mouse trap, stuck on his foot, he screamed "NAIOWA!" Her reply was  
"THE MOUSE TRAP WAS THE GIRLS! AND SO WAS THE PIE!" Zuko wondered what she meant by the pie, he painfully removed the mouse trap and wrapped his toe. He proceeded to flop on his bed _squish_ that wasn't good, he sat up and felt the back of his head- he found out what Naiowa meant by pie….

Iroh smiled as he drank his tea, it was so nice and peaceful "I WANT YOU ALL TO DIE A HORRIBLE, PAINFUL, EXCRUSIATING (sp?), DEATH WHERE A BUNCH OF CRAZED POMERAIAINS (a/n: I have nothing against Pomeranians) EAT YOU FROM THE INSIDE!" Zuko yelled, Iroh smiled "yup, just another day with Zuko"

* * *

Oks, last chapter was defiantly the best, anyway, next, Raesha's Fire Nation contract, trust me its funnier than it sounds…after that I'll have no idea what to do, so send me ideas about what they can do! And I will work with what I can! Thank ya! Review plz! 

Zuko: Pie, and raw pancake mix, why me?

Author: We told you the answer a few chapters ago

Naiowa: Yeah, teehee, it was good pancake mix

Zuko: I hate my life

Naiowa: We know, but wait till Zhao returns! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	8. Boredom and Raesha's Fire Nation contrac

Chapter 8: Raesha's fire Nation contract. 

**Mdalia**: Thank ya for reviewing! Yeah, it was an ok chappy, anyway, here, have one a marshmallow (gives Mdalia a marshmallow) Naiowa: HEY THAT WAS MINE! (Gives Naiowa a Zuko voodoo doll) Naiowa: ooooooooooh! Never mind, marshmallows kill my indigestion system anyway)

**Playdoh-chan**: I've read and review your story, I don't see how there alike, the only thing I read that they have in common is that there both a comedy, Zuko gets new recruits and as a bonus, questions his sanity, Naiowa: As if he had any to begin with….

Naiowa: ME ON HAPPY PILLS! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Runs into a wall)  
Zuko (covered in chocolate syrup): WHO'S THE MORON WHO GAVE NAIOWA "HAPPY PILLS"!  
Raesha: Actually their just sugar cookies with more sugar….(mutters) like two extra bags more sugar  
Naiowa: DRAGON-RACER101 OWES JACK! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE YOU ALL!  
Author: Uhh….On with the story? (Watches as Naiowa is trying to go through a solid wall)

Last time, Zuko got raw pancake mix all on him, Naiowa is doing pranking 101, and oh you read the last chapter didn't you!

* * *

It was another fascinating day on Zuko's ship; there was action and excitement everywhere! Oh who I was kidding! It was so boring that if boring was some kind of futuristic deadly virus, everyone would of died-at lease 3 times! These guys make a cabbage expo seem interesting, and that's putting it extremely mildly. "Man, I've seen snails more lively than you weirdoes" Naiowa says, Iroh couldn't help but nod, a few crewmembers were in a coma of sheer boredom, Raesha was so bored that she stared at a blank wall for three hours straight, Keiana was probably doing the smartest thing and sleeping this boredom off, Sakura decided to learn dolphin, she wasn't doing so well in that. Zuko was rambling about the avatar, needless to say, no one cared. "IS ANYBODY LISTENING!" Zuko yelled, "no!" "Huh?" "Must be the wind" "click, clicked, clicks," "SHUT UP I'M SLEEPING!" "hush, I'm learning the secrets of the wall" Was the idiots replied. Zuko rolled his eyes, why did all those fanfics and websites think that stuck at sea with a crew of imbeciles and his uncle was exciting? Or fun! Or remotely interesting! He sighed and sat at an empty table, he brushed aside a few papers, something caught his interest, well, it seemed interesting. He picked up a few pieces of paper called Fire Nation Contract, curiosity killed the cat (Naiowa: Since when!) And he began to read it.

Fire Nation Contract ( A/n:spelling and grammar errors are intended ( ) Raesha's comment (( ))- Doing/action)

Welcomes, if your singing this contack, then ur smarted, cuz all the other nations just plain sux! Joing is eaze all u hava to do is fill out infomaton on u. And don't forgot to read the rulz. Halth codes follow rulz…

Ful Name: Raesha P. Vale (aint no way ur getting my middle name!)  
Age: 16  
Nation: Air…. I mean FIRE! YES! I'M FIRE NATION!  
Abilities: Airbending…SHOOT! Well, I kinda, sorta…. Hells with it…IGNORE IT!  
Comments: Fire Nation suxs! I think my pet rat is stuck in the rafts….   
Reasons for joined: My friends are, and I'm bored  
Pets: Demon cat called Naiowa  
Additionals Info: Umm…. Oh my pet hamster, Mr. Snuggles, has a habit of sneaking into the kitchen, and into chicken soup  
Rulz and Regulatons:  
1: No ceral on Tuesdays, Wednesdayes, and Fridays (THAT SUXS! I DEMAND LUCKY CHARMS!)  
2: No calling commanding officers monkeys (I think I already broke that rule!)  
3: No calling the fire lord a "Monky in disguise" (NOW you tell me!)   
4: No calling Ozai "Oreo" or "Okapi" etc. (Oh, my bad…)  
5: NO OREOS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! (OREO PARTY AFTER THIS CRAPPY INTERVIEW!)  
6: No brecking windows (oh, looks at smashed windows um…I didn't do it?)  
7: No rearranging the furnature (But I'm telling you, the table looks better over there!)  
8: No Fung Shei  
9: No loitering around the place (what about breaks? I need to file my nails at one point!)  
10: No wild partyes in the royale bedrooms (what if we call it a celebration?)  
11: No wild partyes AT ALL! (Aww…. You guys suck!)  
12: No pranks ( what!(( looks at prank plans)) You guys are dull!)   
13: If blackmailing someone, only do it three times (Three? About 12? Or 18?)  
14: Do not exceed blackmailings limet (feh, don't expect that rule to stay for long)  
15: It is not ok to call Commender…Admirl Zhao a shaved monky (SAY WHAT? YOU GUYS SUCK!)  
16: Even if its true! (Wow, you guys actually did something funny, give yourself a pat on the back!)  
17: Ignored #16 (did I mention that you guys suck?)  
18: No sleeping on the j-ob (But what if it's a really boring shift?)   
19: No designing your own unifore (Great idea! ((writes, design own uniform)))  
20: No humming the Darth Vader theme wheneva Ozai walks past you (((starts humming it ))what? Come on, I know your all thinking the same thing!)  
21: No gambeling with other peoples paycheks (MAN! You will not believe how many zeros are in this guys paycheck!)  
22: No fighting  
23: Unless yur challengd, then you hava to kick the others guys ass (you people don't make sense)  
24: No snickering commending officer people (But its so fun messing with there tiny minds!)  
25: No pointing at commeding officer people (((starts pointing at Zhao)) Huh? What you say?)  
26: No bursting in uncontrollable fits of laughter at innapropiate moments (I wouldn't count on it pal)  
27: When Ozai is presenting himself no yelling "BOO! YOU SUX!" (Then can I yell BOO! YOU SUCK EGGS? Or…HEY OREO? Come on, I have more!)  
28: No yelling "SHOPPING SPREE!" When you get your paychek (what else am I suppose to yell?)  
29: No food fights (awww….((puts down eggs)))  
30: No "room raiding" (How else am I suppose to get blackmail material? Bribe the servants? Wait a second ((writes down: Bribe Zhao's servants))  
31: Fridays is donut day (really? ((evil smirk)) )  
32: No calling anyone "pansys" (HEY ZHAO! YOU'RE A PANSY…Huh? What were you saying?)  
33: No mocking officers that are at a highr rank (ZHAO, ARE YOU REALLY A SHAVED MONKEY?)  
34: Must insult other nations when talking to someone (Ok…FIRE NATION SUCKS!)  
35: No playing with hair exp. No teaching eachother Katara's bun combo (Aww…Its so pretty!)  
36: No back sazz (I "hardly" know the meaning of back sass!)  
37: No changing the schedullle around (HEY! YOU WITH THE BREAD YOU NOW WORK ON THE SECOND FLOOR ON TEUSDAYS! ((turns around)) What?)  
38: No swaping shifts with anyone (Hey! Mac! I'll trade ya kitchen duty for guard duty!)  
39: If you have pets they must be house-trained (Naiowa, your house-trained right? Naiowa((looks at Raesha with insulted look)) Are you!)  
40: And know the diiference between the Fire Lord and a bathroom (Remember Naiowa, although his name sounds like it…Ozai isn't an Oreo!)  
41: No swapping rooms with anyone (what if it was more of a trade?)  
42: Donut firdays have been canceled thanx to accident with laxatives (Yeah…Accident…hehehehe)  
43: No lighting people on fire (awww….((puts away flamethrower )))  
44: No lightin' Prince Zuko on fire  
45: Even if he is being a jackas$(Hey, that's MY word!)  
46: No bowling with valuable objets (((smash)) STRIKE!)  
47: No hamsters due to accident with hamster and Ozai's soup (poor, poor Mr. Snuggles)  
48: No chicken soup! (Hey everyone I have chicken soup from the store!)   
49: No fixations with anything (Iroh broke that one, ((sigh )) bye-bye Oreos)  
50: No brecking into song and dance rotines (fine…BE THAT WAY!)  
51: No caffine at 3 a.m (NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ((gasps for air)) -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)  
52: No cross dressing (do I even want to know?)  
53: No pretending to be ghostz or spooks (Huh? Yeah, what you think goes more ghostly? The ivory white? Or the piano key white?)  
54: No letting wild monkeys loose in the palace (Zhao, you know the rules…OUT!)  
55: No suing the Fire Lord just because you cant eat Oreos or Ceral (Fine…((rips up law suit )) you guys don't allow any fun)  
56: No switching calendars just to make peoples confuzedd (are you making up words?)  
57: No messing with peoples minds (but…But…But, awww!)  
58: No yelling "AVATAR!" And pointing in a random direction just cuz you want a break (HEY…AVATAR! ((Points to a direction, everyone turns and looks ))Tee hee, they are so stupid)  
59: No singing "we will rock u" at 2am  
60: No singing loudly  
61: No singing AT ALL (awww…But I like to sing)  
62: No switching name tags with anyone  
63: No running around screaming "THE HAMSTER FROM THE SOUP ACCIDENT HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IS PLOTTING REVENGE!" (Mr. Snuggles did tend to hold a grudge)  
64: Or no running around yelling "THE HAMSTER FROM THE SOUP ACCIDENT HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IS PLANNING TO KILL US WITH CHICKEN SOUP! (((sniffs )) My little baby is coming back from the dead and is already planning to kill us all, they grow up so fast!)  
65: No writing on anyone  
66: No scirbling on peoples faces (awww…)  
67: No doodling on portraits (teehee ((puts away graffiti portrait of Zhao)) huh?)  
68: No telling Ozai he needs an interiar designer (BUT HE DOES!)  
69: While guarding a room, you may not start moonwalking or anyother dance moves (but what else am I suppose to do?)  
70: No skipping merely  
71: No picking flowers (but I like picking flowers)  
72: No singing "lalalalala…" (But even the worst singers can sing that and not screw it up!)  
73: No combinations of the thre abov (you guys are lame)  
74: No repainting rooms (Hey Zuko, your room is now a rose pink!)  
75: No mimicking officers behined there backs (but its fun!)  
76: No comedy skits that invole Zhao being called a monkey (what about implying his a monkey?)  
77: No matter how funny it maybe (Now your talking!)  
78: Ignore 77  
79: No soilitors (umm…Does the milkman count?)  
80: No letting solitors in (umm…Isnt that what the rule above mean?)   
81: No singing peace treaties on behalf of the fire nation (sounds like fun!)  
82: No reciting poety (not even Shakespeare?)  
83: No reciting romance novels  
84: No setting up blind dates for Zuko and Zhao (Hey Zhao, your meeting my "friend" after lunch!)  
85: Although it would be funny (yah think!)  
86: Ingorne 85 (why do you tell us to ignore the good ones?)  
87: Marvel at many rulz and regulatons there are  
88: No starting ketup and mustad fights (wouldn't the ketchup match the uniform?)  
89: No debating wherever ketup is better than mustad  
90: Be cuase mustard is better, Zhao said so (THE HELL IT IS! YOU DARE DEFY KETCHUP?)  
91: If playing Truth or Dare no daring dates with royale family  
92: No Truth or Dare at all! (awww!)  
93: Bingo nite is thurday  
94: Bingo nite is cancelled due to missing balls (((looks at Naiowa's stash)) Naiowa :Touch my pretties and you die!)  
95: No jumprope  
96: No hopstock  
97: No girly games (girly? Boy have you seen your pink fuzzy slippers?)   
98: No screaming likes little girls (Then what am I suppose to scream like? A hamster?)  
99: No sneaking up behin someone and yelling "AVATAR!" At the top of your lungs (how about Itsabungi?)  
100: No itsabungi (BUT ITS MY WORD!)  
101: No trying to find evidence that Zhao is in fact a monky (but its true!)  
102: Even if you did fine overwhelming evidence (BUT I DID!)  
103: Ignore 102 (BUT I'M TELLING YOU I DID!)  
104: No arranging bring-your-children-to-work-days (Do I look pregnant?)   
105: No matter how cute they are (What are you implying?)  
106: No gambeliing to get other peoples paychek (but its fun! I have to get a raise some how!)  
107: No barging in on anyone  
108: Espcially if there in a meeting  
109: Also if there the royale family  
110: No arranging your own day off (but I wanna take Tuesday off!)  
111: No faking sick  
112: No skipping work because you don't like the guy your stuck on dute with (But his pickup lines are CHEESY!)  
113: No punching a guy out just be cause his pick up lines are cheesy (slip ya a $50 if ya help me get rid of the body!)  
114: No bringing your mother to work (I didn't say I was)  
115: No matter how good her shortbread is (seriously, what are you freaks implying?)  
116: No pretending to kill each other (Aww, we're gunna collect the insurance!)  
117: No rearranging locka comboinatons (Hey Smith, u have Johns locker now!)  
118: No breaking into other peoples lockas (now you tell me ((looks at broken lockers))  
119: No bribing people to do your dirty work (can I bribe my cat?)  
120: No bribing pets (sorry Naiowa, I tried)  
121: No playing with fire  
122: No playing with matches  
123: No playing with anything that can catch on fire (does that include candles?)  
124: No having an opinon (Zuko broke that one)  
125: No wimping out in Angi Kais (Zuko also broke that one)  
126: No planning surprise partys for the Fire Lord  
127: No surprise partyes for anyone! (Awww…Sorry guys ((points clowns and other entertainers out the door)) )  
128: No asking urself why didn't you join another nation (I wonder why I didn't join Earth? I bet they get to eat cereal on Tuesdays!)  
129: No bending past mid-nite (But what about our secret bending fights at 1 am?)  
130: No pushing, triping, throwing, punching, bending anyone ova board (((looks at Zhao swimming overboard)): Well, a little swim never hurt anyone…!)  
131: No laughing (Then what else am I suppose to do when someone tells a joke?)  
132: No smiling (((smiles just to annoy the guy)))  
133: No combinations of the abov unless somethin' horrible happens (Like your spelling and grammar?)  
134: No messing with the catapults or anyother dangerous wepons (PULL! ((releases huge flaming rock that takes out Zhao's personal ship)) Ok, that was B9, Naiowa, your turn!)  
135: No singing up Ozai for quilting class  
136: No matter how bad his quilting is  
137: Ozai's aren't that bad (Naiowa could do better than him! And she has no opposable thumbs! Naiowa: Always with the opposable thumbs!)   
138: No singing Ozai up for phychairarist appointments (Hey! Ozai, your meeting Dr. Coocoo at 2:30 and ur 1:15 canceled!)  
139: No matter how badly he needs it! (Yeah, really that whole "Destroy this village, kill all the people" junk mustn't be good for 'im)   
140: Ozai does not need therapy (ur joking right!)  
141: And defiantly no singing Ozai up for little legue (Ozai! Your playing w/ the Tiny Tigers at 4!)  
142: No yelling "ZHAO THE CIRCUS LEFT A MESSAGE! THEY WANT THEIR MONKEY BACK!" (Ohhhhh! I Likey a lot! ((Scribbles down: Zhao, circus, monkey back))  
143-havin funs  
144: hav fun (but doesn't that go against the rule 142? Ahhell I'm gunna break it anyway!)

Heath Codes and other nessciary junk:  
1: No rodents in the soup (Poor Mr.Snuggles, he was so brave ((sniff)))   
2: No rats in the ratfers (Whiskers did like exploring new places…Stupid rat…)  
3: No putting laxatives on the donuts (((hides box of laxatives behind back)) What laxatives? I don't see any laxatives….AVATAR! ((Points in a random direction and runs off)) )  
4: No locking people in closets for days on end (Does that include monkey commanders?)  
5: No driving Oreo…OZAI! Insane by shouting "AVATAR!" Too much  
6: No driving Zhao insane by shouting "PRINCE ZUKO!" Too much (you mean he isn't insane?)  
7: No mind games (But its fun!)  
8: If you have a contagious disease notify someone (so they get it to?)   
9: If you get a contagious diesaese donnot notify someone (So what are we suppose to do?)  
10: No getting sick  
11: No playing with rat kill in the kitchen  
12: No flaming bags of poo left anywhere (I think we're past that stage of maturity…HEY IS THAT A SPINNING TOP!)  
13: No under any circumstances ask or even think about why Ozai hired and even promoted Zhao! (Are you trying to figure that out to!)  
14: Ozai was not drunk when he hired Zhao (Well there goes theory #685ac!)  
15: Nor was he high (You positive?)  
Any last coments: How did you manage to conquer most of the world! SERIOUSLY! TELL ME!  
Singed: Raesha Vale

Zuko stared at the contract, not only was it full of simple grammar and spelling errors, but it didn't make sense…'Was the fire nation really run by monkeys?' Zuko thought, then another thought hit him "HEY RAESHA! WHATS YOUR MIDDLE NAME!" Zuko yelled, Raesha snapped out of her trance by staring at the wall. "Uhh, nothing!" Raesha said quickly.

* * *

That's it for this chapter! I have a slight idea for the next one, I have caught it….AUTHORS BLOCK!

Naiowa: I suppose I have to say it….Dragon-Racer101 will like some more reviews, so review so she can get over authors block and continue this story asap, now I can play with my Zuko voodoo doll! (Chews on the doll)

Zuko: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY LEG! HELP! SHES BITING MY LEG  
Zhao: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Raesha, Keiana, Sakura smirked at each other) Raesha: Here Naiowa! (Throws Naiowa a Zhao voodoo doll)

Naiowa: DOUBLE SCORE! (Starts thrashing around the dolls)

Zhao and Zuko: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP! SOS! MUMMY!


	9. Narrators, Middle names,& Naiowa's diary

  
Chapter 9: Narrators, middle names, and Naiowa's diary 

Last time, Raesha's fire nation contract and the crew fight the damaging affects of boredom

Author: I hope my author's block didn't damage this chapter to much

Naiowa: don't worry; there not much worse you could do to this craptactular fic

Author: Naiowa, you are soooooo supportive…

Naiowa: Yeah, I know

Zuko: Wow, I think I'm the only one besides Naiowa who gunna say the disclaimer

Naiowa: Dude, it aint that exciting

Zuko: (clears throat) Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe- (Sakura who is blindfolded and waving Raesha's boomerang around knocks Zuko unconscious)

Sakura: Did I hit it? (She's still blindfolded)

Naiowa: Well, we couldn't say you missed, oh yeah; Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe Avatar, or Nick…If she did, well, we would have made an appearance in the show by now…

* * *

Zuko was pacing, the Avatar, AKA Aang, AKA the little bald monk guy, AKA Chrome dome AKA master of all four elements, AKA (Narrator (sp?) gets knocked out by a flying brick, curtsy of Keiana, Keiana: WE GET IT!) Hasn't been spotted for days, well he had, but most of the information was from drunks, sneaky politicians, shifty thieves and other unreliable resources, and so disregarded. However, unbeknown to Zuko, the drunks weren't drunk when they saw Aang and co, so, they weren't that unreliable, well, to some extent anyway…

"The avatar should have reached the North Pole by now, what is taking him?" Zuko barked to no one in particular.

"Well, considering this is no more than a lame fanfic constructed by a girl with way to much time on her hands and that the animation series had gone to a sudden hiatus, I'll say that would be the case, but then again, I'm just a fictional demon cat, so what would I know?" Naiowa said rather bluntly, Zuko sighed; this is why he doesn't like acting in humor/comedy fics- there's always some moron killing his moment, although you couldn't really call it a moment. "Will that damn narrator shut up!" Zuko barked Jee looked thoughtful.

"Well, considering the narrator was supposedly knocked out a few sentences ago, I'd say she, he, whatever it is, is a permanent fixture to this story" "WHY!" Zuko demanded, demanding little boy isn't he? "I'd say it is for more wit and charm for this story, but, I have some doubts" Jee continued, Zuko growled "I'M STAYING IN MY ROOM! NO ONE BETTER DISTURB ME UNLESS IT'S ABOUT THE AVATAR OR WE HAVE A NEW, LESS ANNOYING NARRATOR!" And with that he stomped to his room, and started to sleep, I think he needs anti-depressant pills, or therapy, or he should talk to his friends…Oh that's right, he has none, well, none that hasn't appeared yet.

"DO YOU MIND! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP YOU DAMN…Uhhh…PERSON!" Zuko yelled.

"Dude, who's he talking to?" Sakura asked Jee.

"The narrator"

"The narrator?"

"Yes, the narrator"

"We have a narrator?"

"Uh, I guess so"

"Since when?"

"I guess since the start of this chapter"

"Oh, well, that's new"

"Yeah, although it is rather annoying"  
"Annoying you say?" Keiana asked, inviting herself into the conversation.

"Yes, really annoying" Jee said.

"Hey, has anyone seen Iroh, or Raesha?" Sakura asked.

"Nope, thankfully, I got a tip that she was plotting something" Jee says

"I haven't seen her but if she's plotting something well good for her" Naiowa says suddenly saying something.

Meanwhile Raesha isn't plotting anything, well, anything worth mentioning. "Hey! Who are you?" Raesha asks, I'm the narrator, who the hell are you?

"I'm Raesha, as you said five minutes ago, how come you don't get speech thingy's?" Uhh, because I'm special, now if you don't mind, I have to annoy Iroh.

Iroh was sleeping soundly, well he was, until me, the narrator woke him, "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Iroh snored, OI! WAKE UP OLD MAN!

"Huh? What? Oh hello narrator" Iroh says, not at all bothered that he was rudely awaken by a voice, this caused the narrator's eye to twitch slightly. "I didn't know you have a eye, why do keep referring to yourself in the third person?" Iroh asked, trying to be helpful, and sorryful

"sorryful isn't a word" Iroh says, well, uhh, IT IS NOW! WHY DO YOU LIKE TEA SO MUCH?

"Haven't you heard it- Before Iroh could revealed the secret of his tea addiction, the narrator went back to his first target, Zuko.

Now, the wild Zuko is now quietly sleeping, lets get a closer look, "what the? OH FOR THE LOVE OF- LET ME SLEEP IN PEACE YOU FRIGGEN PEST!" Zuko yelled, wow, you yell a lot, care to tell me why? "NO I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS TO A VOICE!" He screamed, so, you admit you have problems?

"What! NO- I MEAN I HAVE PROBLEMS-I-I- SHUT UP!" Zuko continued to yell like a two year old.

Outside Zuko's room, "wow, Zuko finally admits he has problems, does anyone know if hell has froze over?" Naiowa asked, she was eavesdropping with Keiana and Sakura, "I dunno, but it is funny listen to Zuko argue with himself, or with the narrator, who really is annoying" Sakura says, not realizing the narrator was closing in on them, I should tell Zuko your eavesdropping on him, "Uhh, why would you do that?" Sakura asked, not really caring if the narrator told Zuko, because, I like annoying people.

"But that's my unofficial job!" Naiowa protested, I never really liked cats, especially demon ones, and the talking ones are really annoying.  
"WHY YOU FYRD CAPVA!" Naiowa yelled, cursing demon slang at the narrator, who doesn't really care "say, can you tell us what Raesha's doing?" Keiana asked, she's burning stuff with her middle name on it, cant blame her if my middle name was- "DON'T YOU EVEN SAY IT NARRATOR PERSON THINGY!" Raesha screamed, throwing her boomerang, however, you cant throw a boomerang at someone who isn't there, even if there voice is present, so the over sized throw stick hit Solider, surely all you loyal readers remember the crazed solider guy from a few chapters ago? "OW! THAT LIKE HURT MAN!" Solider yelled, as he promptly fell unconscious. Now that wasn't nice was it Raesha? Now, I'm going to tell everyone what yours and Keiana's middle names are, "you wouldn't!" Raesha yelled, oh is that a dare? And with that the narrator went off.

"WE HAVE TO STOP HIM! HER! IT!" Raesha yelled,

"No duh, no one is gunna take away my job of annoying people" Naiowa says,

"How? It's a voice! It narrates this whole stupid fic!" Keiana said,

"Then lets take this fic into our own hands, and uhh paws" Sakura says with a devious smirk. Naiowa muttered something about drugging the girls and paying a plastic surgeon to make their hands into paws. Then they went, to some how change the course of this fic.

OI! SPOILED BANISHED PRINCE GUY!

"WHATTHE HELL! Oh its you…GO ANNOY SOMEBODY ELSE!" Zuko yelled, wow, you yell a lot, now would you like to talk about it now? "NO YOU SON OF A – " before Zuko could yell a very un nice thing the narrator said, would you like to know Keiana's and Raesha's middle names? "Uh, sure why would you know what they are?" Zuko asked a very stupid question, duh I know, there're. But before the narrator could reveal the dreaded middle names, it disappeared and was replaced by a much nicer, less annoying narrator named Eddy. Hi, I'm Eddy!

"SHUT UP! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST NARRATOR?" Zuko yelled at Eddy, so you want me to shut up or answer your question? "BOTH…NEITHER… ANSWER THE QUESTION!" Zuko screamed, confused isn't he? Zuko muttered some unkind swear words directed at the author and then turned his attention to Sakura, Raesha, Keiana, and Naiowa who were huddled over a piece of paper and writing furiously.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" He demands, wow, I think we should do a count on how many times Zuko demanded something.

"We stole the story from the author" Keiana says, pointing to the author who is tied with duck tape to the ceiling (a/n: the duck taped to the ceiling shall return in a future DBZ fic, and yes its gunna be humor) "HHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMM! UHMMMMMMM!" The author screams through a mouth wad of duck tape,

"I don't see what she's whining about, it seems like an improvement to me" Zuko says

"There, we warped the story enough" Raesha says, un strapping the author from her duck tape bindings.

"YOU'LL DIE A HORRIBLE, PAINFUL, TIME CONSUMING DEATH IN ANOTHER FANFIC!" The author screams.

"Raesha" Keiana says, Raesha nods and whacks the author unconscious with her boomerang.

Now, this wasn't very nice, we should write the author a get-well card or a-

"SHUT UP!" Everyone yells in chorus.

"Wow, that was weird" everyone says again at the same time

"QUIT IT!" They yell,

"Uhh…I think I'll go to bed now" They said, heading towards there rooms.

The next morning: Zuko heard a scratching noise at his door, hoping against all odds it wasn't another prank. To his surprise, and dread it was Naiowa.

"What do you want?" He barked.

"I got word that the Avatar is headed northwest, just thought you'd like to know" Naiowa says, walking off. Zuko was wide-eyed, no smart comment or insult, or prank! He closed his door to tell the helmsman where to go; as he closed his door he saw huge claw marks in them.

"Damn demon cat…How did it manage that!" He wondered.

Raesha was digging through all of Naiowa's stuff when she came across, what else? A diary.

"I know Naiowa's my friend and all… But, I might never be able to see something like this again!" She says, she grabbed the book and ran to her friends.

Sakura and Keiana were playing poker (a/n: I GOT THE SPELLING RIGHT! Sorry, please continue Naiowa: - -; give yourself a pat on the back) with Iroh. Which happened to be the same room where the helmsman was.

"HEY GUYS!" Raesha yells,

"What?" They say monotone.

"Is Naiowa around?"

"No" "thankfully" "she's killing rats I think" "nope"

"Good, 'cause I found her diary!"

"WHAT!" "She has a diary?" "Why would a demon cat have a diary?"

They huddled around Raesha and the scored diary Raesha opened it.

July 6 (a/n: I'm just picking a date so bear with me)

Well today was odd, yet somewhat same.

We got a new narrator; he/she/it was soooooooooo annoying, how dare it try to take over my job of annoying people! So my best friends in the entire universe and beyond; Raesha, Keiana and my fellow demon brethren although she's wolf, Sakura

"Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww, she is so sweet, we're her best friends!" Raesha says. "Whatever, now what else does it say?" Zuko says, not really caring what Naiowa thought of them.

We kidnapped the author and tied her to the ceiling with duck tape, stole this fic and began to change the narrator, although "Eddy" is still annoying, at lease he shuts up when you tell him to.

P.S

I heard a rumor from a duck that the avatar was heading northwest, I think I'll tell Zuko tomorrow, yeah, I know if I screw up I'll end up BBQ, but it'll be worth watching him get mad.

"SHE JUST HEARD A STUPID RUMOR FROM A DUCK! WHEN I SEE HER I'M GOING TO-"

"Shut up, there's more" Keiana says.

July 7

Well, after leaving some huge claw marks in Zuko's door, I told him about the rumor, no duh, I didn't tell him that I heard it from a duck…although I do feel kinda bad for him, being scared for life and banished. But I do feel more sorry for his uncle, putting up with his attitude for soooo long, I would of throttled Zuko by now. And as for Keiana, Sakura and Raesha, there fun, and nice, I should be nicer to them…

(A/n: This bit is kinda like out of Samurai Champloo, it was funny so I thought I'd add it)

P.S

I had a feeling that those mortal twits might try to look at my diary so, I made up all that stuff about them! HAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! YOU IDIOT, MORON, STUPID, LAME, BORING PEOPLE! LOSERS!

"And my feeling was correct" Naiowa says, "EEP! Uhh…Hi Naiowa" Raesha says, sheepishly, quickly closing the diary.

"NOW I SHALL REVEAL YOUR MIDDLE NAMES AS PUNISHMENT!" Naiowa screeches, everyone apart from the girls leaned in expectantly, they were curious, and well, I think they kind of deserve it…

"GET ON WITH IT!" They all yell.

"Fine…Kill the moment why don't ya! Anyway, Keiana's middle name is Cassette and Raesha's middle name is Precious" Naiowa says, there was a pause of dead silence and then, a roar of laughter from everyone (A/n: Terribly sorry if anyone with the middle name Cassette or Precious gets insulted) apart from Keiana who was ticked more than usual and had fire coming from her hands, and Raesha who had the big anime anger thing, and had a fierce grip on her boomerang.

"NAIOWA!" They both screech, Naiowa made an uh-oh noise and ran, correction bolted quicker than the eye can see.

Outside the ship: "NAIOWA YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

"There, there, don't feel bad…(snickers) PRECIOUS!"

"LIKE TOUGH BREAK MAN!"

Then there was a silence after a few "ow!" "MY ARM!" "My legs… I can't feel my legs" and various other noises and screams of pain.

"Wow, these humans make an awful racket don't they" Duck1 says to Duck2

"Yeah, no kidding, can you believe they brought it, I mean, the Avatar's been heading North for weeks!" Duck2 exclaims.

"Wanna go use that bald guy's head as a target?"

"Well, he has his hair in that little ponytail thing, but sure!"

* * *

If you don't get who they're talking about, its Zuko.

YAY! I GOT OVER AUTHOR'S BLOCK! Anyways! My head is planning the next chapter, anyway, would you like to see another fire nation contract, the rules and stuff would be the same, the only thing that would be different would be the person and the comments…SO VOTE! WHEEEEEEEEE! AND REVIEW!

Naiowa: I say tie her up again and gag her with Zuko's gym socks, that'll shut her up for at lease 3 weeks

Zuko: Ducks…. I hate ducks….

Sakura: And we hate working for you…Wait, no we don't! We get to mess with ya!

Raesha: YUP! PRANKS GALORE!

Keiana: I hate ducks, Naiowa, my middle name, and this fic.

Naiowa: Whiner….


	10. Of Catapults, Monopoly and the Avatar!

Chapter 10: Of Monopoly, Catapults, and the Avatar! 

Last time Narrators. Middle names, and Naiowa's diary

Author: EEEEEEEEEEEP! I FORGOT TO THANK THE NICE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED MY LAST CHAPTER! Here, have a cookie **give reviewers cookies**

**sokkazukofan: **yeah, because we didn't have internet for like a week due to moving and I have authors/writers block Naiowa: whatever you call it, someone with to much time on there hands gets stuck on there stupid story.

**Cellarias1073:** Opps, my bad, oh well, another thing to fix up eventually Naiowa: Yeah, by the way, my name is Naiowa, your common sense for this chapter...FIX UP THE STORY WHEN YOU HAVE AUTHOR/WRITER/STUPID PERSON BLOCK!

**Mdalia :** Yeah, Zhao's contract isn't in this chappy (C) but would most likely be in the next chapter Naiowa: Yeah, we need to "borrow" it and warp it, but yeah, I liked the author being gagged to, she's much less annoying. Zuko: Yeah, I have to agree; the author/writer chick is much less annoying when's she's gagged. Author/Writer: - -;; I know how Zhao feels...

Zuko: Do I get to say the disclaimer now, without the threat of being beaten on?

Sakura: No, I don't have a blindfold or Raesha's boomerang

Naiowa: Although Zuko you must admit, you sound a lot smarter when you're lying on the ground unconscious

Zuko: YOU LITTLE, EVIL! Runs at Naiowa who jumps out of the way and makes Zuko run into a wall

Naiowa: Teehee, anyone want to know if I can go for three in a row? Oh yeah the writer chick owes absolutely...Big surprise here...NOTHING!

Author/writer: sighs Blame nick, they came up with a simple and addictive idea before me...

Naiowa: You had plenty of time to figure out the story, you just lack millions of dollars and a brain

* * *

Has Zuko's one good eye deceived him? Was it a mere optical illusion? Just to be sure, he asked his, as the author has mentioned before, less than trusty uncle."UNCLE! DO YOU SEE THE AVATAR IN THE SKY! AND CAN YOU DO SOMETHING TO STOP THE DAMN NARRATOR FROM PICKING ON ME!" Zuko yelled, pulling the telescope away from his good eye. "Now, now Prince Zuko, the narrator is a mere figment of your imagination from being at sea for so-" Iroh gets cut of by Sakura who's yelling in a more than happy voice.  
"A HA! ZUKO'S FINALLY GONE COOKOO! I TOLD YA SO! PAY UP!" Zuko looked over to Naiowa, Raesha, Keiana, Jee (who is warped in bandages) and a few beaten up crew members with various other injuries muttering stuff about "why couldn't he crack sooner" and "I had a suspicion he was crazy before we came along" they were giving Sakura little sacks of coins. 

"YOU HAD BETS WHEN I WAS GOING CRAZY!" Zuko yells, "yup, and Sakura won" Raesha says with a hint of sadness, "well, there goes my dental" Jee says handing Sakura two bags of coins and walking off. Zuko growls, Naiowa shook her head. "Man, nice going, why couldn't you gone to the padded walls last week!" The demon cat says, whacking Zuko. Zuko growled, he does that a lot.

"SOME LOYAL CREW YOU ARE!"

"Thanks!" Came one reply.

"Yup, we sure are!" Was another.

"Awww, your making me blush"

"And you're nice to!"

There were more remarks like that, but we can focus on that later. Sarcastic lot aren't they? I once had a cousin that –

"SHUT UP! AIM CATAPULTS AT THAT BISON!" Zuko yells, pointing at the flying bison (?) "You sure that's a bison? It looks more like a buffalo to me!" Naiowa says, staring at the ten-ton creature,  
"it's a bison! NOW YOU AIM THE CATAPULTS ALREADY!" Zuko screams, pointing at Sakura. "YAY!" Sakura sequels in delight, heading towards the catapult that was arising on Zuko's deck.

Keiana shook her head.

"I think you aught to know why they banned Sakura from the catapults in the fire nation"

**Flashback **why are there so many of these things!

"Now class, today I'm going to show you how to use the catapults in a nice, reasonable, responsible manner" an instructor says, happy that most of her class were standing to attention and weren't asking stupid questions..."Screw that!" Sakura says with a note of happiness, she ran towards the one of the catapults. "PULL!" She grabbed the catapult handle and pulled, a large rock flew towards a ship, little did Sakura know it was Zhao's ship, and that she caused major chaos on it that day. "Damn, you sunk my battleship!" Naiowa says, reaching for the handle of another catapult. **End flashback. **

Zuko was about to order Sakura to stop when he heard "HIT THE BISION/BUFFALO THING!" Sakura yells, pulling on the lever (sp?) a large rock/garbage (a/n: doesn anybody know what they use for ammo! Naiowa: Obviously not brains, as everyone is lacking them. Author/Writer: Does that mean you to? Naiowa: Oh shut up) pile thing flies into the air and shock horror! Hits Appa!

"You sure that things a bison?" Naiowa asks, as Appa dives into the ocean, let's hope that animal cruelty don't find us, because I really don't wanna talk to my lawyer again...

"SAVAGES!" Sokka yells as he, Katara and no duh Aang gets tied up in chains.

"Nothing personal, but if nothing else, I might get a pay rise...Wait, then it is personal aint it?" Raesha says/asks, Aang and Katara gave Raesha a more than puzzled look. "Ignore that idiot, I'm Naiowa, the demon cat...Mess with me and I'll wipe away all traces of your existence!" Naiowa says, giving a manic smile. "IT TALKS!" Sokka exclaims."AH! IT TALKS! No, actually there is someone around the corner using ventriloquism" Naiowa retorted.

"Really?" Sokka asks

"Sure, why not" Naiowa says rolling her large red eyes, they creep me out at night

"What's that voice?" Aang says.

"Eddy" Keiana said.

"Eddy? Who's Eddy?"

"Our stupid, annoying narrator"

"Oh...What's a narrator?"

"Enough! Take them below!" Zuko barks, "Helmsman! Head a course for the Fire Nation!"

Zuko then headed to his room to write a speech and other junk on how good it is to get his honor back and all that boring junk.

"DO YOU MIND! I'M TRYING TO WRITE HERE!" Zuko screams, well the author/writer chick is trying to write to but you don't see her complaining! Eddy protests, motioning to the author/writer who is tied to a chair, gagged, and trying to reach her pen and paper, which is a centimeter out of her reach. "BECAUSE SHE'S GAGGED AND CANT TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!" Zuko yells, Eddy sighs, you have no sense of humor! "AND YOU HAVE NO BRAINS!" Eddy sniffed, that wasn't nice you know!

Zuko crumpled up his speech and threw it behind him, hitting the author/writer/weirdo in the head.

"HMMMMMMMMMMM! UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" The author/writer chick tries to yell.

She was yelling that they'll regret this, "yeah, I should go check on the Avatar" Zuko says, getting up. Aang. "What?" Aang, that's the Avatar's name, I mean, you remember he's the Avatar, so you could remember his name. "Whatever" Zuko said, walking down to the prison hold.

When Zuko reached the prison hold/cells, he saw, that the Avatar, Katara, and that other guy were not in there cells, they were sitting at a table with those bratty recruits and cat, playing...Monopoly? (a/n: If I don't owe Avatar, do you really think I'll owe Monopoly? Raesha: You owe Monopoly? Author/writer: - -; No, I don't owe Monopoly).

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Zuko yells, he needs some anger-management or something.

"Playing Monopoly, Naiowa's the banker, you wanna play?" Raesha asks, Sokka picked up a card.

" 'Go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200' Awwwww, man!" He moaned as he moved his figure to "jail".

"YOU SHOULD BE TRAUMATIZING THEM! CALLING THEM NAMES! IMPENDING THEIR DOOM! NOT PLAYING MONOPOLY! AND- where'd you get Monopoly?" Zuko asks,

"Well, they were in their cells, and we wanted to play Monopoly, they asked if they can play" Keiana explains calmly, rolling the dice.

"AND YOU LET THEM!" Zuko barks,

"Well they said please," Raesha said, shrugging.

"And besides, we traumatize you, prank you, tease you, impend your doom an- Naiowa was cut of by Zuko. "WHY DON'T YOU DO IT TO THEM!"

"Hey, them we like, you we don't, simple no?" Sakura says, "and I "borrowed" Monopoly from the author" Zuko growls, "Whatever, DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE!" And with that we went to work on his speech.

"I won second place in a beauty contest!" Aang said with glee.

"Must be a typo, I think its meant to say "second place in a ugly contest:" Sokka says with a laugh

"Then you must of came first" Katara says.

Later: Zuko fell asleep writing his speech, that's how interesting it was. "Oh god, you" Zuko says, he went out on deck to train when he got there, he saw, Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and Naiowa were helping Aang and the others onto that bison/buffalo thing also known as Appa or _Bos bison_ its scientific name (a/n: well according to a website I found of msn search it is anyway).

"Ok, lets not wait for the next time you get captured to get together!" Raesha says, giving Aang his glider. "Yeah, sure!" Aang said, Sokka was speechless, three fire nation troops and a cat were helping them escape! Katara thanked them, and Momo was whining that his pets had wandered off,

"Yeah, there a handful aren't they?" Naiowa says agreeing.

"Well, see ya! I hope Zuko don't get to mad at you guys for helping us" Aang says

"Don't worry about it! We know how to deal with him!" Keiana says, the girls waved good-bye as Aang gave the command "yip-yip" (a/n: Am I the only one who thinks he sounds like a Pomeranian when he does that!) and flew away.

"YOU LET THE AVATAR ESCAPE!" Zuko runs up to them screaming.

"No, we let them go" Raesha says,

"WHY! " Zuko yells, fire coming from his hands and wrists.

"As we said before, we like them, and they ask, said please, and we let show them the way out" Naiowa says.

"AND YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO STOP THEM!" Zuko yells at his crew who were shaking there heads and hands in the no-we're-smart-and-are-not-going-to-be-beaten-by-them-again manner.

"YOU!" Zuko says pointing at Solider, "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM?"

"Like, no way man! They're insane! They go all Tae-Kwon-Dow (sp?) and bending and stuff…ITS CRAZY MAN!" Solider yells frantically, Zuko rolled his eyes, "you! Why didn't you do anything!" He asks another person, when he didn't answer, Zuko was about to ask again very loudly, but another person said. "Uh, sir, he can't hear you" "WHAT!" Zuko yells, "uh, he's deaf, and uh the chef and he says he's scared of those crazy girls" He continues, the deaf chef, who we shall call Chef for the hell of it walks off yelling. "SUCKERS! I CAN TALK AND HEAR JUST FINE! NO ONE BETTER DISTURB WHEN I'M COOKING OR THEY SHALL FACE MY BUCTHER (sp?) KNIFE!" Zuko growled and said to those three girls and cat that he loathed so much. "YOU'RE ALL UNDER SHIP ARREST! YOU CANNOT LEAVE THIS SHIP WHEN I'M AWAY! GOT IT!"

The girls shrugged and nodded with a few mumblings of "somebody needs happy medication" and "man, you think we blew his chance of going home or something!" "Dude, we DID!" "Oh, man that was irohinc!" "That's a good one! Irohinc!" The girls warped there arms around each others elbows and walked off to there rooms, Naiowa jumped onto Raesha's head, laughter and talking was heard all the way. Leaving a very confused Zuko

* * *

Ok that's enough for this chapter! Next time: Zhao's contract, and what happens when you leave three teenage girls and a demon charge alone on a big ship! 

Zuko: YOU BLEW MY CHANCE OF GOING HOME! WHY!

Author/writer: I told you you'd regret tying me up and gagging me

Raesha: They were fun! We should invite Aang, Katara and Sokka over again some time!

Naiowa: Yeah, although next time we play Monopoly: Demonic Version! When you land on "go to jail" You end up in a real jail somewhere!

Sakura: Although I say we ditch Sokka somewhere, he's annoying

Sokka: HEY! I find that off- what's the word I'm looking for?

Naiowa: You meant to say "HEY! I'M AN IDIOT!"

Sokka: Thanks…HEY I'M AN IDIOT!...HEY! YOU EVIL CAT!

Zuko: I need more asprin…


	11. Zhao's contract, and why you shouldnt le

Chapter 11: Zhao's contract, and why you shouldn't leave three teenage girls and a cat alone on a ship…what a stupidly long title… 

Last time, a sporting game of Monopoly with the Avatar, and Sakura likes catapults

**The-3-Amigos**: Zuko: Funny! You think those four morons over there are funny! Naiowa: He's right, were more hilarious, Keiana: Hey Naiowa, your head is inflating again! Zuko:Them! Out of all people funny! (Sakura whacks Zuko unconscious to prevent him from stopping other people from reviewing) Author/writer: there fun...I guess...More fun messing with Zuko but!

**Sokkazukofan: **I hope this is fast enough! Naiowa: the wrath of your teeth! Buddy, human teeth can't bite jack, you need these (opens mouth to reveal small sharp teeth) Zuko (sarcastically): Aww, what cute wittle teeth! Naiowa: Cute wittle teeth! (Bites Zuko's fingers) Zuko (running around in a desperate attempt to get Naiowa off): GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! Sakura: Wimp Keiana: Yup Raesha: Why doesn't he use fire bending? Sakura: Simple, he's stupid.

**Mdalia:** Zuko (glares at Sakura, Keiana, Raesha and Naiowa): Yes I am FAR BEYOND PISSED OFF! Naiowa: May I suggest anger management? Author/Writer: Oh I forgot about the out of jail free card, it's been a looooooooooong time since I've played Monopoly Naiowa: it's also been a long time since she's used her brain (nods head)

Zuko: Finally! Naiowa swear not to hurt me, now…Where's Raesha?

Sakura: Practicing throwing her boomerang

Zuko: Fine…Dragon-Racer101 do-(Raesha's boomerang flies out of nowhere, hitting Zuko and knocking him out)

Raesha (off scene): I DIDN'T HIT ANYBODY DID I!

Keiana: You knocked out Zuko

Raesha: OH! FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT I MIGHT OF HIT SOMEBODY IMPORTANT!

Naiowa: Nope, just Zuko, Dragon-Racer101 doesn't owe Avatar…nor does she owe a brain that went years ago.

* * *

Zuko was confused, angry, and still banished, wait, not much new there is it!

"SHUT UP! I DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!" Zuko screams at Eddy.

Oh, sure, blame me! Zuko had the Avatar, had told the helmsman to go to the Fire Nation, had his 'welcomed back/honor and birthright restored back speech' but he made the very stupid mistake of leaving three girls and a crazed demon cat guarding them, so in little over and hour or so, he had witness a game of Monopoly-with the Avatar and co, and his own troops. Help, the Avatar escape, while the rest of his crew just stood around doing nothing! He demanded the helmsman to change course back to following the flying bison. Or was it a buffalo? He also placed Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and Naiowa under ship arrest- they couldn't care less.

"QUIT REMINDING ME OF THAT!" Zuko yells, what, I'm the narrator I'm suppose to record and state the obvious, if the characters haven't done so already, which they tend to do a lot.

"BUT YOU TOLD ME ALL THAT 2 MINUTES AGO!" Oh I did? "YES!"

Zuko pounded a fiery fist onto a wooden table that didn't catch fire for some reason.

"I wonder why that table didn't catch fire?" Iroh asks no one in particular, Zuko muttered some curses, then he came across a piece of paper, he picked it up it read. "Fire Naton Contrack"

"Oh god no" Zuko muttered, he read because, because…AH I DON'T KNOW WHY!

Fire Naton Contrack (a/n: as always, bad spelling and grammatical errors are meant to be)

(Guy interviewing Zhao) ((other guy interviewing Zhao))

Name: Zhao Yeknom Purplefoot (a/n: yeknom is monkey backwards)

Age: 17 ( I didn't know shaved monkeys lived that long!) (a/n: the reason for the young age is was when Zhao joined the Fire Nation army thing all those years ago)

Race: Human (you sure your not a shaved monkey!)

Resons for jointing: I want to make sure that the fire nation is victorious! And I heard the pay is good. (Another glory hound ((nods head))

Additionals infos: that's a great suit your wearing! (Mutters: put kissup)((Nods))

Zuko stared at it, skimmed through the rules and regulations (Naiowa: The author/writer is too lazy to write them all up, if you want to read them, go back a couple of chapters).

Zuko read what Zhao had put for a comment.

Last comentts: ILIKEPOWERANDMONEYANDHIGHRANKS oh…I see umm…did I mention that's a great suit?

Zuko shook his head, 'sad' he thought, and then he was trying to think of what he should do with three highly annoying girls and an equally annoying cat. Yes, they were under ship arrest, but he wondered if that was enough.

"It seems those girls don't care what they do, nor about the consequences, as long as they have fun and have each other around" Iroh said…_DING DING DING!_ Congratulations Iroh! You probably said the most sentinel and deepest thing that will ever appear in this fanfic! Well done! Now lets never speak of it again! "Why?" Asks Iroh, who wasn't bothered that a voice told him never to speak of it again. Because the nice, loyal reviewers came to read comedy…NOT SOME PHILOSPHY (sp?) JUNK! "Ahh I see" Iroh says, sipping at his tea. Zuko shook his head; his uncle did have a point…For once.

"LIKE! SIR!" Solider yelled, he also does that a lot, not as much as Zuko but, and not as mean…Big Meany.

"LIKE WHAT IS IT!" Zuko asked, trying lamely to mimic Solider 's annoying way of talking.

"LIKE THE NARRATOR THING IS RIGHT MAN! YOU LIKE SUCK!"

"WHAT!" Zuko yells, dropping his lame 2-minute accent.

"I SAID LIKE YOU LIKE SUCK! AND THE AVATAR DUDE WAS LIKE SPOTTED!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"LIKE YOU WERE LAMELY TRYING TO PULL OFF MY ACCENT, MAN! NOT COOL! OK!"

"WHERE'S THE AVATAR!"

"SAY SORRY MAN!"

"WHAT!"

"SAY LIKE SORRY FOR LIKE TRYING TO PULL OFF MY ACCENT AND LIKE TOTALLY LIKE FAILING MAN!"

"SORRY!" Zuko says, not really meaning sorry.

"LIKE YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT MAN! YOU HAVE TO LIKE MEAN IT MAN!"

Solider walked away, Zuko held a hand out but had somehow manage to trip and fall, bringing Solider down with him. Zuko was about to get up when Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and Naiowa came in the door.

"Hey Zu-" Raesha stopped mid-sentence then said. "Not interrupting anything are we?"

"WHAT!" Zuko yells getting up.

"LIKE I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY MAN!" Solider yelled getting out as fast as he can.

"I think that's going to haunt him for the rest of his life" Naiowa says, the rest of the girls nodded their heads in agreement.

"WHAT IS IT!" Zuko yells.

"THE AVATAR HAS BEEN SPOTTED AT JEAN JO! JUST THOUGHT YOU'LL LIKE TO KNOW!" Raesha yells, she rubbed her throat. "Man, how can you yell like that, 24/7!"

Zuko gave Raesha a withering look.

"As me and my men are- Zuko was cut off by Naiowa.

"As my men and I, god its simple grammar, don't they teach banished princes grammar skills!"

"WHATEVER! THE POINT IS THAT MY MEN AND I ARE GOING TO BE GONE YOU BETTER NOT COME!" Zuko yells.

"See, your grammar is already improving!" Naiowa says happy that she's made a difference.

"HELLO! I'M GIVING YOU ORDERS!" Zuko yells.

"AND WE DON'T CARE!" Sakura yells back.

"GOOD!" Zuko yells, I think yelling makes him feel better.

A little while later: Zuko and his lackeys were on the Komodo Rhinos and duh had stopped at Jean Jo. "Now, here's lunch" Naiowa says giving the crew, Zuko and Iroh little brown paper bags.

"Place nice with the other nations don't litter, clean up after the Rhinos and have fun deary!" Naiowa says like some 1950's mother.

"Uhhh" Zuko says.

"BYES! HAVE FUN! IF YOU SEE A BAD MAN WALK THE OTHER WAY!" Raesha yells, the girls giggled, waved bye, and walked inside.

Zuko shook his head he and his dysfunctional crew headed into a forest, that's boring, lets see how the girls are doing.

"Man this is boring" Raesha says, throwing a stale blue berry muffin at a dartboard.

"Yeah, and I need my hair done right, I think I can get my hair stylist up here" Sakura says with an evil little smirk.

Wow that was also boring, lets see how Aang is doing.

"For some reason, I feel like hanging around here a little longer" Aang says, Katara wasn't happy, it was only 10 am and she had dealt with lizards in her sleeping bag, hand in a messy gooey pile of uhh goop? And her brothers "supportive" comments, she wanted to be gone.

"Aang we have to go before Prince Zu-" Katara says suppressing as much anger as possible, when Prince Zuko and his crew appeared.

"I'm here for the Ava- Zuko was cut of by an extremely angry Katara.

"LOOK HERE PAL! I HAVE JUST GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOU! I MAKE CAMP, COOK DINNER, HAD LIZARDS IN MY SLEEPING BAG, GOOP ON MY HAND, MY IDIOT BROTHERS COMMENTS, AANG'S ALL-WOE-IS –ME ROUTINE AND I SO DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"Uhhh…" Zuko says, Katara gets a big scoop of water via water bending (Naiowa: No way! I could have swore it was earth bending!) And soaked Zuko, other than that didn't do anything other than give them time to escape.

Zuko fumed all the way back to the ship, his jaw dropped, his dull, gray, and big but small compared to other ships was full of people, teenagers to be exact. Toilet paper was thrown everywhere, people were being thrown into the water, it was converted into a party ship! He got of the Komodo Rhino stomp inside made his way through the crowd, through the mass break dancing and drinking. He found Sakura, playing what else! Poker with a couple of teens

"YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Zuko yells.

"You see, I needed to get my hair done properly, as we both know, so I called up my girl Shara, and she told of couple of her friends who told there friends, next thing you know we have ourselves a ship par-tay " Sakura says (a/n: That was off Bringing Down the House, funny movie. Highly recommended by the author/writer Naiowa: If nobody else) Zuko then yelled.

"I WANT EVERYBODY OUT!" Zuko yells, "fine" Sakura says, bored. Raesha was playing Muffin Darts with a couple of guys and girls. "Oi! Raesha, people have to bail!"

Fore score and the party people have left the building…Uhhh ship.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THE SHIP!" Zuko yells,

"We didn't, we were sitting on deck, getting a tan, when Sakura saw her old hair stylist, Shara, so she call her up, they talked, Shara said she'll get her hair stuff, but she told her friends who told there friends who told there friends…And well one thing lead to another!" Keiana says. Raesha, Sakura and Naiowa nod their heads.

"Yup, and you didn't say anything about parties, you just said to don't leave the ship" Sakura points out.

"COMMON SENSE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT!" Zuko yells.

"Common sense? That little nagging voice that tells you obvious stuff…I stopped listening to that since I was 8!" Raesha proclaims.

"Its true, I was there when she told it to shut up!" Naiowa says, nodding.

Later everyone was asleep, apart from Zuko who couldn't shake the feeling he was forgetting something.

Outside: "Do you think we go inside now?" A random guy asks, yes, his crew and uncle were still out there…

* * *

Next time! Naiowa's bath time! It's a scary thing…

Naiowa: I HATE BATHS!

Raesha: We know, which is why the auhor/writer is going to waste an entire chapter on it

Zuko (holding an ice bag to his head): God I hate disclaimers…

Naiowa: Be grateful you aint the ones saying them

Sakura: This party was off the hook! We should do it again!

Keiana , Raesha and Naiowa: Hell yeah!


	12. Naiowa's bathtime and the wonders of mak

Chapter 12: Naiowa's bath time and ahh the wonders of make-up…I need shorter titles 

Last time on this 3rd rate fanfic: the joys of leaving three teenage girls on a ship alone

**The-3-Amigos: **Sakura: That's a good name! Another good name for him is Mr. I'm-pissed-off-for-no-particular-reason! Zuko: WHAT! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME TH- Author/Writer: Thanks for reviewing, and ignore the yelling idiot

**Sokkazukofan: **Zuko: PLEASE DO! GO RIGHT AHEAD! GIVE ME WHERE YOU LIVE AND I'LL SEND YOU THE AUTHOR/WRITER VIA FED-EX! Raesha: Were sorry, Zuko has always been a little insane, hang on a second (Whacks Zuko with boomerang) now we hope you'll enjoy this chapter

**Mdalia:** Naiowa: I hate bathes…SAVE ME PLEASE! Keiana: Don't suppose you can knock Naiowa out to? Sakura: Nah, its fun watching Naiowa act as if the world is coming to an end.

**Anyra**: Inu-Yasha is one of my favorite shows...However this aint a crossover, if it was I would have mentioned that in the summary. There is no traveling back in time or future or whatever, no battling demons, well unless you call Naiowa or Sakura just being themselves- battling demons then yeah, there's a bit of battling demons. No Shikon Jewel in here, just a lot of humor, and Zuko doing his "I- want-my-honor-back" routine. Raesha: Aint no cute little Shippo either! Author/Writer: I hope you'll keep reading though!

Zuko: I'M STAYING AWAY FROM THE DISCLAIMER! SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS! Naiowa: Wimp Zuko: FINE! I'll say it! Dr-(Zuko gets hit by a passing train) Keiana: I have a feeling that we wont be doing disclaimers near railroad stations…. Naiowa: Yep, the author/writer/stupid person who writes this owes…Wait for it…NOTHING!

* * *

Zuko rubbed his head, popped aspirin in his mouth and took a swig of water. I think he should have anti-depressant pills but the author/writer didn't have any.  
"Shut up I have a head ache" Zuko says, whoa! He didn't yell! Or scream! Or demanded! Are you sick or something! "Leave me be" Zuko says softly going to sleep in his room. Whoa, that's something you don't hear everyday. Lets see what our favorite troublemakers are doing.

"Now be very quiet" Raesha says. "Why?" Sakura asks. "I'm going, correction, trying to give her a bath" Raesha says, her hands fixed around a bag. "Why are we whispering and hiding around a corner?" Came Naiowa's voice. "Hey Naiowa, I'm going to give Naiowa a bath, don't tell her!" Raesha says. "Uhh…Raesha…You were just talking to Naiowa!" Sakura says. Raesha went huh? And saw an angry creamy-white demon cat, otherwise known as Naiowa, she was growling and well was all around pissed off Naiowa loathed bathes. "You can't be Naiowa!" Raesha exclaims. "I can't?" Naiowa asks. "Yeah because over there is a-uh-oh!" Raesha says, everyone's favorite banished prince, well technically the only banished prince's foot tripped a wire, causing a big bucket to fall on his head. "Opps" Raesha says. "So, what song would you liked to be played at your funeral?" Sakura asks. To all three's surprise, there was no yelling or screaming, Zuko calmly took the bucket off and kept walking. "Uhh we're all killed so quick that we dont know it happened?" Raesha asks, Sakura answered by hitting Raesha in the arm. "According to Sakura's fist, we're still alive" Raesha says, rubbing her arm "I wonder why Zuko hadn't bitten our heads off?" Sakura said, thinking. Naiowa had bolted off down the hall. "Ponder later, wash Naiowa now!" Raesha says, running after the cat. GOOD LUCK!" Sakura yells, Raesha was gunna need it. Now lets see what our lone other favorite troublemaker is doing.

_Keiana was just reading a scroll, a white string was warped around her finger, and lets follow the string shall we? _

_The string is connected to buckets of what looks like chocolate syrup and melted vanilla ice cream, a little father south we see the string is lined along the wall and across a door. Lets see if Keiana's plan works. _

A few crewmembers where headed to that room where they go to get and eat lunch, they walked through the door, stepping on the string. Keiana felt a few tugs and jerked her hand away quickly, tripping the buckets of chocolate syrup and melted vanilla ice cream. The crewmembers didn't notice until they took a few more steps and well, they went for a slide. Keiana looked around the corner and counted the victims. Man, only 5 I was going for at lease 8!" She says, she was about to walk off when Naiowa ran towards her, Naiowa jumped over the semi-conscious crew, Naiowa misplaced her footing and well, became victim number 6. "Why are running?" Keiana asked the now not-so-creamy-white demon cat. "Raesha wants to give me a bath!" Naiowa says, she them licked her chocolate syrup and vanilla covered paw. "Vanilla and chocolate…Good choice, if Raesha asks if you've seen me...LIE!" Naiowa shouts, running down another hall. Keiana shook her head, and then went to Zuko's room.

"Hey! Zuko we got clean up on aisle 5! I repeat! Clean up on aisle 5!" She says, however she heard no response, just snoring! Zuko was asleep? During the day! She picked the lock (after Raesha had figured out how to in chapter 6, she told everyone how to do it and even gave them a demonstration on how to do pick the lock!) She opened the door and saw Zuko, sleeping, and snoring, a devious idea popped into her head, since Raesha was still chasing Naiowa around, she went to her pal, Sakura!

"GET BACK HERE NAIOWA!" Raesha yelled, in the last 10 minutes, Raesha had interrupted Iroh's Pai Chow game, gone for a slide down Keiana's "syrup and ice-cream" hall, gone through a crash course in the kitchens pots and pans and has managed to piss off exactly 17.732 people. Naiowa, being smaller, had way more hiding spaces, and was currently hiding under a table in the room where all the lower-rank people ate. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty, Raesha aint gunna hurt ya!" Raesha says, trying to coax the demon cat out, with no luck. At all, "Shut up Eddy, I can't exactly coax her out with you yapping like that!" Fine, be that way...By the way, Naiowa, she has a bag and a bucket of warm, soapy water, just letting you know. "EDDY!" Raesha yells.

"There, brilliant!" Sakura says, taking a minute to admire her and Keiana's handy work. Zuko was now asleep, but with one major key difference, he now hasclown make up on his face! And his ponytail thing was separated into three braids at the top. "Yes, yes, very funny, now lets bail!" Keiana says, as they tiptoed quietly out of Zuko's room.

Raesha saw a shadow of a filthy demon cat. "Ah-ha!" Raesha lunged, bag ready, and she landed in a bowl of hot sauce. "Ewwwwwww! NAIOWA YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Raesha yelled as she wiped the sauce off her face. Naiowa whizzed past she leapt out of the door. _SPLASH! _Naiowa was in a bucket of warm soapy water. "CURSE YOU RAESHA!" Naiowa yelled as Raesha smirked as she washed a fiddling Naiowa, but the semi-cleaned cat had one more trick up her uhh fur? She bit Raesha's hand and ran. "OUCH! NAIOWA! GET YOUR FUZZY BUTT BACK HERE!" Raesha yelled, chasing after the cat.

Zuko yawned, and stretched, completely unaware of his new make over... "What are you rambling about Eddy?" Zuko asks, walking out of his room, I'm rambling about nothing, absolutely nothing. "UNCLE!" Zuko began, and then he noticed that everyone was staring at him. Raesha who was wrestling Naiowa into going in a bucket of soapy water, stopped, Naiowa stopped fidgeting, both stared, until Raesha dropped Naiowa into the water out of pure shock. Keiana and Sakura were smirking and giggling like a couple of twits. His uncle and supposed loyal crew were just staring. "WHAT!" He demands, "here" Sakura says snickering giving Zuko a small hand mirror Zuko took a look. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" He yelled, "ahh the miracles of makeup" Keiana says, Raesha got a scroll and a pen out of nowhere, snuck next to Zuko and wrote. "ZUKO THE SAD AND ANGRY CLOWN -)" And obviously, the arrow was pointing to Zukothis caused everyone apart from Zuko who was angry, burned Raesha's scroll, and then he went to pout and wash off the makeup.

* * *

That's enough for now…Next time, Iroh gets a date and it's the joys of music night!

Zuko: Iroh? My Uncle Iroh gets a date?

Naiowa: I believe that's one of the signs of the apocalypse (sp?)

Sakura: Wow…Uh...Review while we get over the shock of Iroh dating…

Raesha: MUSIC NIGHT! WHOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!

Keiana: Wow…Music night and Iroh gets a date…That'll be a memorable chapter…


	13. music night and iroh gets a date

Chapter 13: Iroh gets a date and music night!

Star Wars nut: Author/Writer: Uhh... Didn't I put a few chapters ago that  
Zuko is my fave character? Naiowa: Oh well, we knew the Zuko fan mob was  
gunna get you at one point. So what song would you like sung at your   
funeral? Zuko: I don't know who to fear anymore...Sakura: Let me remind you!  
(Punches Zuko in his upper arm) Zuko: Now I remember...

Anyra: Yes, thank ya I do! And I'm proud of it! Naiowa: That's the sad  
thing...  
Author/Writer: No the elf isn't from LOTR if we wanted an elf from LOTR we  
would of gotten Leoglas.  
Naiowa: If you call him Legless, it sounds like his drunk!

Sakura Rulz All: Thank ya, thank ya! Yes, it was funny! Zuko: NO IT WASN'T!  
Sakura: You have good taste in names Keiana: Now wheres Keiana Rulz All  
Naiowa: Screw that we want Naiowa Commands You to grow a Brain! (Everyone  
else) NAH!

The-3-Amigos: Zuko: I WILL NOT SING! Raesha: ITS OPPOSITE DAY! SO ZUKO IS  
GUNNA SING! Naiowa: Ah the old opposite day trick...MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sokkazukofan: Sorry this took longer than usual...Naiowa: Now here's a  
guy/girl who can tell a good threat! Have a cookie for the most creative   
threats! (Give Sokkazukofan a cookie) And next time we see Sokka we'll tell  
him you said hi!

Zuko: Trains! A TRAIN! I WANT EVERY TRAIN DESTROYED!  
Raesha: Ah, shuddup! Whacks Zuko unconscious  
Naiowa: Haha, good one Dr-  
Sakura: DRAGON-RACER101 DOESN'T OWE AVATAR! OR ANYTHING WORTH MENTIONING!  
Naiowa: HEY THAT'S MY LINE!  
Sakura: Not anymore!

How does anyone walk into a tea shop and come out with a date!" Zuko barks  
at his uncle who had recently scored a date with an eledery lady who owes a  
teashop.  
"Apparently someone who can sweep ladies off their feet, you can learn from  
him" Keiana says, Zuko was about to say something back when Raesha and   
Sakura bowled him over.  
"So Iroh whats her name?"  
"Is she cute?"  
"How old is she?"  
"Where you taking her?"  
"Remember, girls don't like the "yawn-and-stretch- arm-over-shoulder-trick"  
its lame and old and bound to get you a broken jaw"

Iroh chuckles, "I have been dating for a long time, before a lot of you were  
born"  
"Yeah but things have change since then, people have invented the wheel and  
fire" Keiana says.  
"Ha ha, very funny" Iroh says.  
"So, what's her name?" Sakura asks.  
"Yuri" Iroh says, "and before you girls start repeating yourself, I guess  
she's cute, my age, and I'm taking her to a nice little restaurant"  
"Awwwwwww a romantic dinner, how cute..." Naiowa says in a rare, out of  
character moment.  
"Shut it Eddy before we change you for another narrator" Naiowa says,  
getting back to her inner-shut-up-before-I-scratch-your-eyes-out character.  
"DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT WE'RE AFTER THE AVA- Raesha cut of Zuko.  
"Hey, just because you can't get a date to save your life doesn't mean you  
have to stop Iroh"  
"Ow, that's gunna leave a mark" Sakura says, Naiowa nods.  
"Yup, but its true"  
The girls nod there heads, and uh-huh.  
"YOU BETTER BE- Keiana cut Zuko off.  
"So, you know what you're wearing?"  
"Yeah, what I'm wearing now" Iroh says.  
"Good, I hope Yuri digs guys in uniform" Keiana said. Personally I think  
chicks that dig guys in uniform are seeking protection and ar-  
"SHUT UP!" Naiowa yells, I wish Naiowa didn't talk, and that she was more  
like Kirara / Kilala off Inuyasha. . That cat shut up, never talked, and has  
a bunch of fan listings.  
"I'M WARNING YOU NARRATOR BOY!" Naiowa yells.  
"Hey we should get Raesha to help" Sakura whispers to Keiana.  
"Why! How would Raesha help?" Keiana whispers back.  
"She went to beauty school, remember?"  
"Yeah, and failed, she got booted out after that replace shaving cream with  
whip cream prank"  
"Yeah, but Iroh doesn't know that!"  
"Good idea!"

After the girls "persuaded" Iroh to help him prepare for his date. "Now,  
girls don't like guys who rant on about themselves, so keep it short and  
straight to the point, and don't forget to leave out the part of the   
"I'm-stuck-traveling-with-my-nephew-because-of-his-pointless-quest" " Keiana  
says,  
"Yeah, but do put in that your retired, and make sure you have a good  
excuse, like you want to settle down and have kids" Sakura said, giving Iroh  
a bunch of flowers.  
"Now, curfew is at 12, any later than that we boot Zuko off the ship to look  
for ya! And I'm sure Yuri's parents don't want her out all hours either"  
Raesha said, there is a ping pong  
"Whatthe!" Zuko says, that would be the doorbell genius.  
"We have a doorbell! SINCE WHEN DOES A SHIP HAVE A DOORBELL!" Zuko yells,  
"Since a few chapters ago when we had that party, we decided we need a  
doorbell, and besides, at lease we know when pizza's here" Raesha says,   
filing her nails. Sakura opened it to an elderly lady, wearing a very nice  
pale blue kimono.  
"I'm hoping your not with them damn girl scouts are ya! We've been throwing  
pies at them all afternoon but they still keep coming asking if we want any  
of there nasty cookies and I- Iroh pushes Sakura out of the way. (A/n: there  
is absolutely nothing wrong with girl scouts or boy scouts, nor do I have  
anything against them and there cookies are goooooooooood Naiowa: Not as  
"good" as your grammar and spelling though)  
"Hello little girl, I'm looking for Yuri, have you seen her?" Iroh asks,  
Naiowa makes hurling noises in the background. Yuri gave a little giggle,  
"Shall we?" Iroh asks again, taking Yuri's hand. Yuri nodded,  
"Ok, you crazy kids have fun, and don't do anything we wouldn't do, like   
uhh...Under tipping our hard working waiters and waitress's" Raesha says,  
waving good-bye.  
"WE NEED TO CAPT- Sakura shoved a sock in Zuko's mouth, finally shutting him  
up.  
"That's putting a sock in it!" Keiana says, Naiowa was laughing at Zuko who  
spat out the sock.  
"WHOS SOCK WAS THAT!" He bellows.  
"Jee's, I found it in the hall one day" Sakura says, wow, shes brave, I  
wouldn't have touched let alone pick it up, I mean wow!  
"Ah shuddup" Jee says, Zuko looks like he's about to throw up.  
"THAT'S DISGUSTIN! DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WITH NEW WAYS TO ANNOY  
ME!" Zuko yells.  
"Dude, he's onto us!" Raesha exclaims, Sakura nodded.  
"Wow, it did take him long enough" Naiowa says causally...In other words   
they aint doing anything new, lets see how Iroh's once-a-while-in-a-fic-date  
is going.

Iroh's P.OV, yes we can do that...  
"And so that's how I got into owing a tea shop..." Yuri says, she hasn't  
shut up for the last half hour, and here I thought my nephew was boring...  
"So, what do you do?" She asks, uhh right, now..Oh yeah, now I remember.  
"I'm an ex-general and I'm stuck traveling the world with my exiled nephew"  
Oh hell, I shouldn't have added that last bit...Yuri stares at me and say in  
a tone that little old ladies shouldn't use, nor even think of using says.  
"I love a family man!" I almost threw up my Ginsing tea.  
Normal P.O.V wow, that was scary, now lets see how our deranged troops are  
doing...

"Man, this is sooooo boring, ohh lookey at what I found!" Keiana says,   
holding up a couple of bottles of wine.  
"Hey, your not old enough to drink! You could get alcohol poisoning...Ah go  
ahead" Naiowa says, not really caring. Sakura yawned  
"Hey I got an idea, lets have a music night and see who passes out first!"  
"Ah, Sakura that would be a fun idea, however, I think Keiana beat you to  
it!" Raesha says, pointing to Keiana who was already pouring and drinking  
herself a glass. Then Zuko who was doing nothing particularly interesting  
came in.  
"Hey, what are you doing?" Zuko asked, "drinking wine, you in?" Keiana  
asks, holding up her glass. Zuko pauses for a second, "sure, since things  
cant get worse" (a/n: I don't not encourage the use of alcohol, especially  
to minors Naiowa: But she does encourage stupidity...) well, lets get back  
to Iroh...

"So, what does your nephew plan to do after he captures the Avatar?" Yuri  
asked, still talking and being a general ninny...  
"Rule the Fire Nation...I guess..." Iroh says, pretty much guessing.  
"What is that voice?" Yuri asked again. Being a nosey nitwit.  
"Uhh the narrator, don't worry, it drives everyone insane!" Iroh says,  
sipping his tea.  
"Wow, you must be good if you have a narrator!" Yuri exclaims, wow, and here  
I thought Raesha was a total ditz...Oh wait, she is...

A little while later, Zuko was more than tipsy...  
"WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He yelled, his voice  
slurred, Raesha, Keiana-who had way less alcohol than Zuko and was still  
mainly sober; Sakura, Naiowa and half the crew were laughing and smirking.  
"Hey, Zuko why don't you sing a number?" Raesha says smirking, Zuko who as  
we mentioned before was drunk and would probably kiss Naiowa if someone told  
him to, nodded his head.  
Then with much difficulty, well it is difficult when you're drunk to drag  
yourself on top of a table. That's exactly what Zuko did, he stumbled a bit  
once he was on, but then in a disturbing, and slurred voice began to sing   
(a/n: I dunno how much swearing is allowed on "T" fics so I'm bleeping a lot  
of it, also this aint meant to insult Gwen Staffani (sp?) its meant to  
insult Zuko! And duh I don't owe "Hollaback Girl" or any of Gwen Staffani's   
music)

"Uh huh, this my s----  
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl  
I ain't no hollaback girl  
2x"

You could just imagine how much laughter there was on that ship...And the   
best thing about it- Zuko thought they were laughing with him instead of at  
him. Which is twice as funny.

"Oooh, this my s---, this my S--- 4x

I heard that you were talking shit  
And you didn't think that I would hear it  
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up  
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack  
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out  
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl  
I ain't no hollaback girl  
2x

Oooh, this my Shit , this my s-----4x"

Now everyone needed to hold onto a chair or lean against a wall to stand  
up-yes they were laughing that hard.

"So what would your nephew be doing right now?" Yuri asks, "I dunno,  
probably training or demeaning everyone's spirits, whatever comes first..."  
Iroh answers. Wow is he gunna be surprised.

"So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers  
No principals, no student-teachers  
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one  
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all  
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you  
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust  
A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl  
I ain't no hollaback girl  
2x

Oooh, this my s----- , this my Shit 4x

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas  
B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
this s---- is bananas  
B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
Again, this s---- is bananas  
B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
This s---- is bananas  
B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl  
I ain't no hollaback girl  
2x

Oooh, this my Shit, this my s------ 4x" Zuko sang and fell to the ground  
with a 'thud'. The girls picked him up, "wow, we have to do this again   
sometime, maybe we can get him to sing Avril Lavinge or Jessica Simpson!"  
(A/n: I don't owe any of there songs either incase your wondering) Raesha  
says, Sakura fiddled with the lock to Zuko's room, Raesha and Keiana laid  
Zuko on his bed/futon/mattress thing, and left him to suffer his hang over  
in peace.  
"So, who wants ta' play Muffin Darts or plan another prank?" Sakura says,  
shutting the door and rearranging the combination on Zuko's lock.  
"Yeah, sure, why not" Keiana says who was more mild than usual...Wait, since  
when is she mild!  
"Oh shut it Eddy" Keiana said, not bothering to say it in a more menacing  
tone.

"Iroh, I had such a lovely time, next time you're here, you visit this old  
bag of bones ok?" Yuri says, standing in front of her door of her house.  
"Right, I will, take care Lady Yuri" Iroh says, then as he turned to leave  
Yuri gave him a kiss.  
"Good bye" She said softy as she closed the door, Iroh was o.0 for a second  
then as he was out of her garden path, smirked and said to himself.  
"Well, looks like I still got it!"

"Hey! I'm back!" Iroh says, the crewmembers waved with a few mutterings of  
"yeah, shame you weren't here earlier you missed a show!" and "I think we  
wont be hearing from Zuko for a while"  
"HI IROH!" Sakura says, happy as usual, "How'd ya date go, score a kiss?"  
Raesha asked, Iroh nodded, "where's my nephew?" Iroh asked, "sleeping off  
his hangover" Keiana says, from above her scroll.  
"He was drunk?" Iroh asked, The girls nodded and gave him the details of  
Zuko's song.  
"Wow...I go out for one night and Zuko has fun!" Iroh says, bewildered.  
"Yup, but he was tipsy, so I dunno if that counts" Raesha says...

Wow, that was a long chapter and I'm sorry it took so long to write,   
schools been murder, not literally but still bad enough to keep me from  
writing...Hopefully the next one wont be as long, with is "Initiations, and  
a bunch of random stuff"

Zuko ((still asleep)):ZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZz  
Raesha: Wow, what of-balance snoring!  
Sakura: Yeah...Really


	14. Initiations and uhh stuff?

REALLLY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! BUT ME THANKFUL TO ALL THOSE WHO WAITED SO  
PAIENTLY FOR THIS! Naiowa: So there reward is listening to you ramble?

Mdalia: Yeah, it could have been better at the end of Iroh's date, but I   
just wanted this finished ASAP, and stuff. Naiowa: Ah the ever growing list  
of junk to fix up.

The-3-Amigos: Thank ya so much! Complements like that take the cake! Thanks  
for the cake! Raesha: YAY! CAKE! Keiana: I think Zuko is still sleeping off   
his hangover to care but cake good! Naiowa: Cake very good! Sakura:  
yummmmmmmmm! (Everyone starts eating cake) Iroh: Tea goes well with cake,  
much-obliged Raesha: He's using big words! Naiowa: like clueless?

Sokkazukofan: Yeah, I did sorry, looking for a decent and not to mention  
hilarious song for Zuko to sing, my new excuse is an evil known as  
school...Naiowa: Ahh the threats just keep getting better

Zuko: (still asleep)zzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
Naiowa: Man he wont shut up!  
Sakura: Zuko I believe you've already met Mr. Jeessock, (shoves Jee's sock  
into Zuko's mouth again)  
Naiowa: Much better, you can't hear him now  
Raesha: Am I the only one who hears choking noises?  
Naiowa: No, but you're the only one who cares  
Raesha: Who says I care?  
Keiana: Dragon-Racer101 owes absolutely...NOTHING!

Zuko woke with a headache, a big one at that, he woke up, more like fell out  
of bed and stumbled a bit, he headed over to the door he went to open it and  
surprise it wont open! If you paid close attention last chapter Sakura had   
rearranged his lock.  
"HEY!" Zuko yelled, then almost instantly, regretted it  
"ow...Head...Hurt...Mustn't...yell" He mumbled as he grabbed his head in  
pain  
"I think the pyro is up" Sakura said dully, putting a queen down, she was   
playing- duh Poker, and the narrator is getting tried of saying that...  
"Shut up then genius" Naiowa said, cleaning her paw and being a stupid  
midget like she is.  
"SHUT UP OR ELSE!" Naiowa screeched  
"SHUT UP OR I'LL FEED YOU TO THE SHARKS!..Oww...head" Zuko said. (a/n: I  
never had a hangover, and I hope I never do, so I dunno what someone would  
feel like so just go with me please! Naiowa: I feel sorry for those poor   
reviewers...)  
"We have sharks?" Raesha asked, "beats me, but I could use a nice decent  
well-cooked tuna" Naiowa said, wanting a nice, properly cooked fish...HA!  
Keiana was just reading, ignoring the idiocy that was going around her.  
"WILL SOME...ow..BOD-ow..head..GET ME OUT OF...Ahh...head...Pain.." Zuko  
yells/mumbles  
"Sakura, shut him up, I cant concentrate with him yelling like the idiot  
that he is" Keiana says, flicking through her magazine, where are they  
getting all these modern day luxuries is beyond me...  
"Well that's a no-brainer, we had a little "friendly disscusion" with the   
authoress/writer/ruler of this(-)15-on-a-scale-of-1-10-fic about certain  
uh...necessaries" Sakura said, winning her 4th and not-quite-last-game of  
Poker. "  
But fine, if I must...But does anyone else care if we just left him in  
there?" Sakura asked,  
"not really" Jee says, sipping at coffee! And reading a New York Times  
(a/n: man these disclaimers...I DON'T OWE THE NEW YORK TIMES! I DON'T EVEN  
LIVE IN NEW YORK! Naiowa: Ahh, ever get the feeling someone had has a hard  
day of sitting on her butt and staring at a computer?) Paper! Man the   
authoress/writer has really let this fic go...  
"Nah, we just took control" Naiowa replied chewing on a rat, well at lease I  
think it's a rat...It could be some sort of small poss-  
"NO! I'M ALEARGIC TO POSSUMS!" Naiowa yelled, running into a wall to get  
away from the "possum" I got to remember that for the next time that little  
freak is scaring me... There a few more mumbles of  
"next time we use the bathroom stall that hasn't been cleaned in two months  
to lock him in there" and "I couldn't care less if we shoved him in a safe  
and left him with Zhao" To Sakura's question.

Sakura then dragged Keiana and Raesha to Zuko's room  
"But I don't wanna! I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Raesha whined, "well duh! No one  
does, apart from those rabid fangirls and Iroh, but I'm sure if they count"  
Naiowa says, who has since gotten over her possum fiasco.  
"True, but what about that chick in the spoilers! What was her name? J-"  
"SHUT UP Raesha! Not everyone has read the spoilers" Sakura said, normally  
she didn't care what secrets she left out but she was thinking of the  
reviewers...May they be blessed...  
"Fine" Raesha said, pouting, Keiana who was bored out of her mind, was just  
reading, Sakura let go of Raesha and Keiana letting them fall to the ground.  
"Ow...Jeez, would it kill ya if u warned us!" Raesha asked, "maybe" Sakura  
said, fiddling with the lock and opened the door to let Zuko fall flat on  
his face.  
"9.5 for the impression, .5 for the fall...You scored a perfect 10!" Keiana  
said, she, Raesha, Sakura all had pieces of paper with "10" on them and were  
holding them up, Naiowa had one in her mouth saying, "You suck more than the   
suckiest suck that ever sucked"  
"I like Naiowa's score" Keiana said, the girls erased there papers to all  
read "You suck more than the suckiest suck that ever sucked" Zuko's little  
self-esteem just got a nice kick in the gut.

"Thanks...Leave me alone...Unless you have Panadol" Zuko asked, (a/n: for  
all of you who don't know, Panadol is another head-ache relief thingy, and I  
don't owe it either) the girls shook there heads, while Naiowa just threw  
her head back and laughed evilly...Evil little thing aint she?

"Why do I get tortured so!" Zuko moaned to no one in particular.  
"Well remember a few chapters ago when the authoress/writer swore revenge?  
Well, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE THE AUTHORESS/WRITER'S PUNCHING BAG FOR THIS  
CHAPTER! WELL DONE INDEED!" Sakura says, for more effect for the occasion,  
Keiana and Raesha got a huge bag of confetti and poured it over Zuko's head,   
Naiowa somehow manage to throw a bright yellow streamer at Zuko's head,  
needless to say this wasn't helping the laws of   
not-possible-without-opposable-thumbs, Zuko's self-esteem (assuming he has  
any), or Zuko's hangover.  
"Shut up...I hate you all..." Zuko says, Raesha who has built a sort of   
immunity to stuff like that, just smiled widely and said  
"Awww, you're not quite my friend either!" Zuko wished he had a button that  
made those girls and cat suddenly and unexpectedly combust into flame.  
"How did u know that?" Zuko asked wearily, it was in his diary, pages 34-45  
the ones with the butterflies and shiny flow-"Ok that's enough of that  
nightmare-ish description" Keiana said, she too had witness the pink, girly,   
horrors of Zuko's diary.

Zuko, got up, wearily wiped the confetti and streamer off of him, and went  
to nag his nice, crazy, but cool uncle Iroh!  
"Aww, you mean that?" Iroh asked, no not really, but hey, your pretty much  
the only character who everyone likes. Well pretty much all girls have this   
thing for Zuko but still other tha-  
"Shut up, Uncle! I need asprin! NOW!" Zuko somehow even manages to pull off  
that favorite thing of his- demanding stuff even when with a killer   
headache.  
"Ah, so you did have some fun in the last chapter" Iroh says.  
"How did you know!" Zuko demands,  
"The girls told me, but I also read last chapters script" Iroh explains,  
well theres your major DUH! For this chapter, man Zuko is dense.  
"No duh!" Naiowa says, looking at Zuko. "He needs a contamination suit -  
he's leaking stupid juice everywhere" She continues, I agree, the janitor  
aint gunna clean tha-  
Zuko muttered some un nice things and swore he'll kill the authoress/  
writer.  
"Get in line" Jee said still reading the New York Times.  
"FINE! Ow...Head..." Zuko mumbled, he walked over to a cupboard and opened  
it, it was a nice cupboard- real mahogany- oh, anyway in this mahogany  
cupboard Zuko pulled out...Dun, dunn, dunn...ASPRIN!  
"SHUT- ow..UP!...ow..Head...again" Zuko mumbled, swallowing at lease half a  
packet of the aspirins.  
"You'd think he'll know not to scream like a loony when u got a hang over,  
man he looks like hell" Naiowa notes, complementing Zuko's newfound dark  
rings around his eyes...Well eye 'cause the other already looks like,  
crappy.

"LIKE DUDES AND Uhh...DUDETTES AND Uhh OTHER PEOPLE THINGS LIKE WE SCORED   
OURSELVES LIKE ANOTHER CHICK! LIKE YEAH!" Soilder came, yelling, needless to  
say, Zuko's headache just got a lot bigger.  
"Now...try that again in uhh...What language do we speak?" Zuko asked.  
"I dunno, we use Chinese characters for writing, so do we speak Chinese  
to?" Sakura asked.  
"Don't matter to me, I'm good at different languages" Naiowa said I suppose  
you would be good at languages being as ancient as that cat is...She belongs  
in a museum.  
"Shut up Narrator-boy" Naiowa warns, doesn't she know that I'm just a   
voice! Stupid thing.  
"He, she, it got a point Naiowa, although I thinking more of a zoo or a  
laboratory, maybe even one of those animal rehab- Raesha received a death  
glare from Naiowa, who as we mentioned before was immune to stuff like that.

"BACK OFF! QUIT STARING AT ME LIKE THAT! Mmmm...MUMMMY!" Came a highly  
disturbed voice, Zuko, Naiowa, Raesha, Sakura and hell everyone else who I  
can't be bothered mentioning ran to where the petrified voice came from. It  
was from a random person who works on Zuko's ship who I cannot be bothered  
naming, he was backing away from a girl with blond hair, bright perky eyes  
and a big smile, beside her was a big tiger.  
"HI! SUKI'S NAME IS SUKI!" She said happily, the tiger had a bored look on  
his face.  
"AHHHHHHH! GO AWAY!" The petrified man yelled, the girl, who for the  
sake of it everyone will presume to be Suki just smiled manically and walked  
towards him.  
"WANNA A M&M!" (A/n: I dunno who owes M&Ms but I know I don't! Naiowa: Or  
do you? A/W: no I don't) The girl asked, her voice high and perky.  
"NO!111111111111111111" The  
man yelled, so petrified that he had to use 1's instead of !'s.  
"Ouch, bad grammar, yeah that's really gunna scare her off" Keiana said ,  
monotony.  
"YOU! GIRL WITH THE BLONDE HAIR!" Zuko yells, the girl looked at Zuko.  
"SUKI SAYS HI MR. SCARFACE GUY!" Suki, or well that the narrator guess is  
Suki said, waving at a bewildered Zuko, who's bewildered look vanished into  
a "YOU SO DID NOT CALL ME THAT!" Look, which kinda looks like he's  
constipated.  
"SUKI LAUGHS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUKI LIKES THE FUNNY VOICE! Wait does this  
mean Suki already has gone crazy Blaze?" Suki said, asking the tiger who  
just shrugged.  
"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY SHIP!" Zuko screams.  
"Suki got dropped off here by some nice fire nation government people who  
seemed really glad once Suki got away from them, and my name is Suki" Suki  
finally confirms.  
"SUKI WILL NOW TELL WHY THEY SENT SUKI HERE!" Suki yells excitedly.

Its time for everyone's favorite time...FLASHBACK TIME!  
Location: Fire Nation Palace place, which is located North West of Pine and  
Klepic street, and oh who cares we see Suki off with a obvious look of la-la  
land in her facial expression, she was shifting her feet side to side, she  
had laid her spear down next to her, well actually her tiger, Blaze was  
using it to chew on. Suki was eating M&Ms, she was "guarding" the doors  
where the Fire Lord, Okapi- SHOOT! OZAI! OREO! OH SNAP! SOME WEIRDO WITH A  
NAME SOUNDING LIKE OREO! (A'/n: I don't owe Oreo or an Okapi.  
Naiowa: You don't owe anything A: Thanks for pointing that out) Anyway the  
Fire Lord Guy was sitting on his butt and yelling at people stuff like " DO  
THIS OR I'LL BURN YOUR HEAD OFF!" And another crowd pleaser "WORSHIP ME OR  
DIE!" he was about to yell  
"YOU SHALL NOT SAY THE Z- WORD HERE AND IF YOU EVER DO AGAIN I'LL- the guy   
never knew what the Fire Lord was going to do with him because the very  
scary Fire Lord was cut of by Suki asking.  
"Suki wants to know if the Royal Fire Lord Guy would like an M&M?" She said,  
holding out a bag of M&Ms to her supreme evil overlord boss guy. Who just  
shook his head and continues yelling more stuff. "HANG IN THERE! OR I'LL  
HANG YOU!" And the ever supportive" I'M YOUR FRIEND!. NOT!" When once again   
he got asked "would the Lord Guy want a M&M now?" Needless to say this got  
very annoying. So annoying that when Suki started asking it during  
semi-important meetings they decided to do one thing. Send her to Zuko.  
End flashback

"WOW! YOU WERE ANNOYING TOO! YOUR GUNNA FIT RIGHT IN!" Raesha declares, Suki  
just smiled and nodded. "And oh before Suki fogets, this is Suki's pet  
tiger, Blaze! Say hello Blaze!" Suki says, the tiger roared.  
"Good another feline, that means someone with some decent I.Q points. BOUT  
TIME!" Naiowa said, needless to say she like the idea of another cat running   
around, Zuko didn't care as long as it wasn't like Naiowa.  
"Whatever! RAESHA! KEIANA! SAKURA AND NAIOWA! You'll show Naiowa around  
considering you have the same level as intellect as Suki!" Zuko says,  
walking off.  
"YEAH! IN OTHER WORDS, WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU! MR. I.Q-OF- NEGATIVE-16!"   
Naiowa yells after, the girls nodded their head, the other crewmembers  
assisted the one who was petrified by Suki.  
"So, since you all know Suki's name, Suki wants to know what Suki's new   
friends names" Suki said.  
"Raesha!" "Keiana" "Sakura" "Naiowa. Byte me" Each "respected" person said.  
"Cool, so, what does Suki do now? Does Suki have an important job or  
something to do?" Suki asked, still referring to herself in the third  
person. Now the narrator knows he aint alone!  
The girls and Naiowa looked at each other for a second before bursting out  
laughing.  
"Man, dude, the only "important" job around here is annoying the hell out of   
Zuko and whoever else! Apart from each other, well on some occasions, well  
ok, mostly of every other time" Sakura said.  
"OOOOOOH! So Suki doesn't have to do anything?" Suki asked,  
"Yup, pretty much, but if Zuko "commands" you to do something, you can  
either do 3 things 1: do something else totally irrelevant 2: make a prank  
out of it or 3: do a Raesha and trash it!" Keiana said.  
"Yeah, so if wanna join us in making everyone else's lives more miserable  
than what they already are, all you have to do is prank Zuko in a totally   
original, off the wall, and preferably random prank! So what ya say?" Naiowa  
asked, Suki nodded and said.  
"Suki says sure! Suki also says it sounds like fun!" She then was shown the   
rest of the ship and all the weirdoes who worked there with the gang.  
"Hmmm...Suki has an idea for a prank! Suki will go put it in motion now! Hmm  
then Suki will eat a glue stick...Yumm...glue" Suki says, running off to her   
room.  
"Me-row!" Blaze said, "Yup, you said it" Naiowa said, agreeing with Blaze.

Zuko had mainly gotten the worse part of his hang over, well over with and  
was trying to relax with his Uncle who was once again prove to Zuko that tea  
was relaxing. However when Iroh went to pour the tea, M&M's came out   
instead, Iroh blinked.  
"Strange I don't remember putting M&Ms in my tea pot...Oh well, M&M Zuko?"  
Iroh asked, Zuko who wanted to anywhere but near Iroh right now said no and   
walked off to bite some one poor random persons head off. As he walked  
through the door, a bucket of - what else M&M's fell on top of Zuko, Zuko  
firebended and caused the M&Ms to melt resulting in hot chocolate all over  
Zuko as well as a melted bucket which cause's a lot of smoke. Raesha and  
Sakura walked by to Zuko.  
"Yummmm...Who's cooking the hot chocolate?" Raesha asked,  
"More like, who burned the hot chocolate!" Sakura said, the two laughed and  
walked off, leaving Zuko with a half melted bucket with a ton of melted M&MS  
on him to as well as a withering look.  
Zuko got as much bucket and chocolate off of him as possible, Naiowa  
smelling Zuko, had leapt up onto his shoulder piece of armor and began  
licking the chocolate.  
"What are you doing!" Zuko demands, pushing Naiowa off who being a cat,  
landed on four paws.  
"I was enjoying some chocolate until somebody kicked me off! Jeez I try to   
help people and this is the thanks I get!" Naiowa says, walking off with an  
air of dignity, well that's what she thinks anyway...  
Zuko rolled his eyes, he walked down the hall to talk, well yell at Suki  
about leaving M&Ms everywhere. "SUKI!" He yelled, he couldn't yell anymore  
than that because he tripped over wire and landed in more M&Ms, hmmmm I'm  
starting to see a trend here.  
"Shut up" Zuko said, stumbling up. "Suki. Is. Dead" Zuko muttered, walking  
along, flicking M&M's off, he didn't get much further than that because he  
was suddenly pulled by his feet along the hall, across a step and landing in  
a huge wooden tub of duh M&Ms, a bunch of confetti and a banner fell down  
saying. "SUKI GOT YOU!" and a bunch of streamers came down, as well.

"YAY! SUKI PRANKED THE PYRO GUY! YAY! IS SUKI IN NOW!" Suki exclaimed,  
coming out behind a door with Sakura, Raesha, Keiana and the cats.  
"Yup, congratulations Suki, your in!" Keiana says, the girls dragged Suki  
away, leaving a highly annoyed Zuko. Jee walked past and said "once again  
they have a party and don't invite me" He moaned...

THAT'S IT FOR THIS CHAPTER FINALLY! Next time, Jun joins  
the chaos on Zuko's ship! As well as soon after that chapter a Halloween  
chapter which will be very crazy indeed!

Suki: Suki had fun! Suki got a lot of M&Ms for this chapter! J  
Zuko: I hate M&Ms and this fic and everything else  
Naiowa: Blah, blah, blah, blah, working for you aint no picnic either  
Raesha: Yeah it is, considering we don't do anything besides annoy the hell  
out of him  
Naiowa: I see ya point  
Sakura: Yum M&Ms...  
Keiana: I'm surrounded by weirdoes and I'm enjoying it...That is sad  
Naiowa: Yeah whatever. REVIEW PLEASE OR SUKI WILL THROW M&MS AT YOU!  
Suki: Silly kitty! Suki wouldn't do that!


	15. Jun never realized how tough Zuko had it

Chapter 15: Jun never realized how tough Zuko had it...Recruitment  
wise...Poor Goth lady...

Spolier warning: This takes place after episode 15: Bato, the weirdo of the  
water tribe. If you have not seen it (which you probably will have so many  
times that your sick of it by the time this chapter is up) you might wanna  
skip this chapter Naiowa: How about skipping this fic? A/W: NO! DO NOT SKIP  
THIS FIC PLEASE! Wait, actually if you really want to 'cause then I don't   
have to put up with Naiowa no more! Naiowa: You suck more than Zuko and  
that's sad. A/w: One other thing, since Jun has only appeared in one  
episode, it's kinda hard to get her real personality, so if she appears a  
little OOC (which I hope she doesn't) that's why...

The-3-Amigos: Yeah, M&M's rock, Naiowa: Your only figuring it out now that  
Zuko is a complete and total idiot! Zuko: Yeah, real- HEY! YOU ARE SO DEAD!   
(Runs at Naiowa cardboard cut out- ends up in a big pit of M&MS) ...Zuko: I  
never knew I could feel so much hate against a coloured lolly...Naiowa: Yeah  
its sad, even for you

Sokkazukofan: Look, Urasue- guy, no offence I get side tracked enough with  
school and home, and I really don't need to be dragged to Feudal Japan,  
although Japan is on my vacation list. And I don't need to hunt for Sacred  
Jewel Shards, that's Kagome's hobby. Anyway, glad ya like the chappy, I'm  
thinking this one wont take as long! Naiowa: WHY DID YOU RESCUE THE   
AUTHORESS/WRITER WE COULD HAVE BEEN FREE! WHAT THE HECKS WRONG WITH YOU!  
Authoress/Writer: Ok kitty needs to go outside now (opens a window and  
throws Naiowa off a two story window) Raesha, Sakura, Zuko, Iroh and all  
other characters wearing party hats Raesha: We heard that the authoress got  
eat- AWWWWWWWWWWWW MAN SHE'S STILL HERE! False alarm guys (Everyone else  
moans and goes back to contemplating suicide as a good option for a way to  
get out of this fic)

HamstersWILLtakeover: (laughs) Its ok, ideas for my story (especially ones  
that are funny like this and fits the character perfectly) are always  
welcomed! In fact I think I might use it in this chapter Naiowa: How did you  
know that Zuko had -14 for I.Q! Zuko: SHUT UP! Naiowa: Hey the figures   
don't lie!

Mdalia: yeah it was a very interesting chapter Naiowa: this fic is  
"interesting"

Zuko was mad, well I know that aint so surprising but this time it was   
semi-different. In the last 48 hours or so, he got a new weird recruit that  
is obsessed with M&MS, glue sticks and wont stop referring to herself in the  
third person. Which was very annoying, then some anteater-riding chick that  
Uncle has taken a very disturbing liking to (A/n: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IROH WAS  
A PLAYER! Naiowa: Very good Watson..(mutters) Looney...) had suddenly joined  
his crew of mishaps and weirdoes. Jeez, whiner aint he? He thinks he has it  
bad, the other day I-  
"What the hell is that annoying voice coming from!" Jun demands, oh joy  
another brainless demander  
(a/n: I like Jun, she is very cool, however Sango off Inu yasha is better,  
anyway, I make fun at a lot of the characters I like. Naiowa: Deal with it!)  
. Jun cracked her whip,  
"SHOW YOURSELF!" She screamed, look I'm a narrator, love, I can't really  
show myself, I just say what the hell is going on out loud. By the way my  
name is Eddy.  
"Eddy! What kind of name is Eddy!" Jun demands, well what kind of name is  
Jun? Couldn't afford the "E" could we now?  
"SHUT UP!" She screeched.  
"GOOD IDEA WHY DON'T YOU!" Came Naiowa's voice. "NOW WHO THE HELL WAS  
THAT!" Jun yells, Naiowa came trotting around the corner.  
"I'm Naiowa, who the hell are you?" Naiowa asked Jun stared at Naiowa.  
"It talked!" Jun said, bewildered, Zuko nodded his head  
"Yeah, the trick is making her shut up for 2 minutes"  
"Yeah I can talk, quite fluently and it's a good thing, most people will   
take there pets to "psychics" to find about whats wrong with Fluffly, well  
trust me, you don't wanna know what Fluffly thinks about the bow ties and  
the .50 cent tin crap you buy at the grocery store" Naiowa said.  
"Hmm, I don't suppose you'll miss this thing if I sold it on the black  
market?" Jun asked,  
"Go ahead, but Naiowa's uhh...Acquaintances might mind" Zuko said.  
"And they are?" Jun asked, as if on queue, Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and the  
new recruit, Suki came in.  
"WAZZUP!" Sakura and Raesha asked simultaneously, Keiana had her usual  
don't-mess-with-me look, and Suki was just daydreaming, while eating a glue  
stick.  
"Suki wants to know who the new Goth chick is" Suki asked.  
"Yeah, seriously, Keiana, you might be out of a job, can I join you at the   
unemployment office?" Naiowa asked, Zuko sighed.  
"Jun this is Sakura, Keiana Raesha and Suki...and vice versa" Zuko asked, he  
was getting tired of introducing all these characters to one another.  
"Uh, is she eating a glue stick?" Jun asked, pointing at Suki.  
"Suki says yes, Suki likes glue sticks, would Jun want one?" Suki asked,  
Jun's visible eye twitched.  
"Their insane aren't they?" Jun asked, "most likely" Keiana said.  
"So, ok then, so what do you guys do exactly?" Jun asked, the girls and cat  
looked at each other and declared:  
"WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT!" Well Suki yelled out at the same time  
"WHATEVER SUKI WANTS!"  
"So, you do whatever you want? No matter what Zuko says?" Jun asked,  
"Yup, well a few chapters ago like way back in chapter 4 I think, we kinda  
did what Zuko wanted!" Raesha said, remembering the clean up duty they did.  
"It was fun!" Sakura said.  
"DUH IT WAS! ALL YOU DID WAS PLAY POKER, TRASH THE KITCHEN AND PLAY PAI CHOW  
WITH UNCLE!" Zuko yelled Jun smirked, she found this rather amusing.  
"Whatever dude, can we show Jun around? We can also give her pointers on all  
the good pranking locations!" Sakura asked.  
Jun did not want to get shown around by these...These...Weirdoes! Man she is  
as slow as Zuko!

"Yeah. And watch out for the coke machine in the boiler room, Raesha went to  
get a Pepsi  
(a/n: I don't owe Coke or Pepsi Naiowa: once again, nothing owed) once and  
it spat out a mouse instead! It was sooo delicious! It was one of those big   
black ones that could have been mistaken for a rat!" Naiowa said, licking  
her lips. Before Jun could protest, the four girls dragged her off, with  
Naiowa trailing. "Suddenly I like traveling around with Zuko" Jee said.

For Zuko the last couple of hours have been surprisingly peaceful and calm,  
which means there was going to be a huge prank, surprise party for someone   
who's birthday wouldn't be till next July, something to do with M&Ms or a  
combination of the above...  
"I wasn't thinking that! But thanks for giving me the possibilities!" Zuko   
snapped, feeling more and more paranoid.

The girls showed Jun the room where all the lower rank people ate, the crew   
and whoever else was down there- upon seeing the girls- had instantly picked  
up their food trays, bowls etc and had scooted to along the far edges of the  
walls out of fear.  
"Well I like the affect you have on these people" Jun commented, Naiowa who  
had a conversation with Shishu (a/n: I think that's what her pet Anteater  
thing was called) came and said to Jun.  
"JUN! I have very upsetting news!" Naiowa said, "what?" Jun asked.  
"I'm afraid Shishi-" Naiowa was cut off by Jun.  
"You mean Shishu?"  
"Yeah whatever anyway, I'm sorry to say that your pet Shushi-  
"SHISHU!"  
"Anyway! Your pet thingaboba has the I.Q that of Zuko"  
" Is that an insult?"  
"Uh yeah, considering Zuko has an I.Q of -16 it is"  
Jun cracked her whip "I don't care what you say about Zuko! But when you  
insult Shishu!" She cracked her whip at Naiowa, who nimbly dodged it.  
"Dude, without your pet thingy you're just some Goth chick with a whip, like  
a wannabe cat woman (a/n: I don't owe cat woman that's DC Comics...I think  
or Marvel...Either way I don't owe it...) in training or beginning" Naiowa  
said, jumping on top of a cupboard and running into a rather large hole that  
came into being after Naiowa struck a deal with the ship mice, she promise  
not to eat them if they constructed her some escape tunnels. When the mice's  
chosen elective said no, Naiowa ate him and they suddenly decided to build   
her the tunnels. How regular mice bit through metal is beyond anybody, or I,  
with common sense that seems to be the slogan of this ship- "If a little  
nagging voice called "Common Sense" starts talking to you- ignore it"

"I'M GUNNA KILL THAT CAT!" Jun declared,  
"Aww! Don't feel to bad! She insults everybody! Its her way of making  
friends 'cause she lacks social grace...But if you really wanna kill her,  
you have to write your name on this list" Raesha said, holding out a long  
list that had a bunch of people's names on it. Among them was:  
Sokka, (He needed to prove to Katara and Aang that he can hunt)  
Appa, (Naiowa told one to many fat flying bison jokes near him)  
Momo (Appa's and Momo's signature was actually a paw print, well Momo signed  
twice- one for him and one for Appa Naiowa tried to eat Momo on more than  
one occasion...)  
Zuko, ( it all began many chapters ago when he discovered she could talk  
and had long since wanted a way to shut her up)  
Jee, (Read the tabloids and you'll understand)  
The Earth Kingdom (apart from Bumi who thought Naiowa was just joking when  
she called him " A total loony that should have been locked away  
loooooooooong ago")  
The pirates (they wanted Naiowa because she ate there pet circus mouse that  
could of done around 5,862,000 tricks and would have fetched around well  
lets just say they could have been paid as much if they handed Aang in  
instead)

There were many others if I were to name them, you would have gotten a PHD,  
traveled the world, discovered the meaning of life, gotten a Nobel prize,  
deal with the highs and lows of fame, retire, travel the world again, and   
then when you decided that you needed to get a small, furry little animal  
and call it Fluffy.

Jun signed her name. "Hey, you never told us how you got to end up on this  
ship o' misery" Sakura said.  
"Yeah! Suki wanna know why! Hey, do you wanna a M&M?" Suki asked, Jun shook  
her head, Suki having the short attention span that she has, thought Jun  
said yes and had shoved a handful of M&M's down Jun's throat.  
"ARE YOU CRAZY! I DIDN'T WANT ANY M&MS!" Jun yelled, Suki smiled and ate  
some more.  
"Trust me, crazy doesn't even begin to describe it..." Keiana said, Jun  
sighed and told them how Zuko promised Iroh's weight in gold if she helps  
him capture Aang.  
"COOL! Your suppose to be helping him too!" Raesha said Jun's expression was  
00.  
"Uhh, yeah, why is that yours to?" Jun asked, she was thinking: please say  
no! Please don't say yes!  
"Yup! Supposedly but the Fire Lord just sent us here because we annoyed  
everyone too much at the Fire Palace" Raesha said, swinging around in her  
chair.  
"In other words, your supposed to assist him capture the Avatar, but you   
don't?" Jun asked.  
"Yeah, pretty much and its sweet! 'Cause Zuko cant get rid of us, unless he  
fired us but that would be doing us a favor and I don't know if he knows he  
can do that" Sakura says, fiddling with a deck of cards.  
"So, you just do whatever and don't care as long as you have fun and annoy  
Zuko?" Jun asked.  
"Yes, its lots of fun, he is sooo easy to prank and mess with...Observe"  
Keiana said,  
"HEY ZUKO!" She yelled.  
"WHAT!" Zuko demands.  
"The Avatar is right here!"  
As soon as Zuko heard the words: Avatar and Here, he made Flash (a/n:  
another superhero guy I don't owe and never will own) look like a snail on a  
reverse elevator.  
"WHERE IS HE!" Zuko demands, upon seeing that Aang was no were near there,  
he fumed and stormed off.  
"See, he's so gullible its sad" Keiana said, they all nodded their heads in   
agreement.

Later:  
"ZUKO! I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS!" Naiowa declared.  
"What is it! The Avatar!" Zuko demands  
"Good news or bad news first?"  
"Good you stupid cat"  
"Ok, you gained one 1 I.Q point congratulations"  
"And the bad news?"  
"You lost 14 I.Q points"  
"And where do I stand now?"  
" -14...Wait your current I.Q before that was -16 so now it would be -29!  
Well done! You reached a whole new level of stupid!" Naiowa informed, Zuko  
fumed, and caused smoke everywhere.  
"FIRE! SUKI SAID FIRE! RUN! OR UHH EVACUATE THE SHIP! SUKI IS TELLING YOU   
NOW TO EVACUATE THE SHIP! FIRE! AND OOOOOOOOOOOO! Is that a cheese  
stick?" Suki screamed/ asked, and well needless to say everyone ignored her.  
"So, how about you just cook marshmallows?" Jee suggested, Suki's eyes went  
even more perky, "  
YAH! MARSHMALLOWS! SUKI SAYS JEE COME TOO!" Suki said, dragging Lee to where  
Zuko was, the girls and cat who had long be sinced been feared on this ship.  
Well ever since the chapter 2 was posted really, so I guess it hadn't been  
that long but anyway, the girls had little sticks with marshmallows on the   
end, they were using the heat radiating from a more than angry Zuko to burn  
marshmallows...I would say this is one of those great minds think alike  
thing...But there's no real great minds to speak of and compare...

"uhh...Sir you know their burning marshma-" Jee began, Zuko nodded, and let  
his head feel to a thud on a table.  
"I hate my life," He said, doing the whole teenage  
Woe-is-my-life-and-nobody-likes-me. Well his Uncle likes him don't know  
about everyone else.  
"SHUDDUP BEFORE I SEND ANOTHER FORMAL COMPLAINT TO THE AUTHORESS/WRITER"   
Zuko bellowed, the girls marshmallows caught on fire, they weren't  
complaining apart from Suki who watched her marshmallow burn.  
"Ooooooooo...Suki says pretty flame..." Suki said, staring at her  
marshmallow.  
"You really think the authoress/ writer will regard it let alone read it!  
She gotten so sick of you writing all your whines on them and giving her so   
many of them that she just adds them to a huge pile and has a weekly bon  
fire with a BBQ" Naiowa states, its true the authoress/writer does get so  
many of them stupid little whines from Zuko like  
"Why wont you let me capture the avatar like other fics" and "Can you please  
get my Uncle to stop drinking tea- its ANNOYING!" and so forth, the only one  
the authoress/writer really took into consideration was "CAN YOU PLEASE GET  
NAIOWA TO SHUT UP!"

"Yeah, we all took a vote on that one, Naiowa was the only one who  
disagreed, many changes their votes after Naiowa threatened to make their  
lives that much shorter and more miserable." Keiana said.

Jun looked at Zuko and asked:  
"Wow, you put up with so many annoying people, how do you handle it?"  
"He doesn't! Duh" Sakura said, Zuko shot her a withering look.  
"What you don't and that's an understatement!" Sakura said.  
"HEY! ZUKO! I HAVE BAD NEWS, EVEN MORE BAD NEWS AND LOTS MORE BAD NEWS!"   
Raesha said.  
"NOW WHAT!" Zuko yelled.  
" First lot of bad news, Iroh won three big crates of tea so he'll be   
shoving a lot more tea down your throat, second bad news, Avatar was spotted  
and then disappeared for no apparent reason, last but not lease...Jun, sorry  
to say this but your Shishu has past its due by date, we had to throw it off  
the boat, ship thing" Raesha said, Jun looked hurt for a second.  
"Shishu?" She said, almost crying.  
"Ohhh! Did I say Shishu? I mean shushi! Yah, misprint on the cue card, sorry  
about that, but yah the Shushi you brought, I was gunna eat it but it  
smelled kind of funny so I threw it overboard" Raesha said, holding up a cue   
card that indeed said "Shishu" instead of shushi. Jun then said, the girls  
ran off because Jun was emitting a scary look.

"Why cant I have that effect on them?" Zuko asked out loud.  
"Because no one is scared of you, Jun is more of the scary goth while your  
more of a wannabe goth-clown" Naiowa told him. She was right, nothing was  
scary about Zuko unless you meet him in a dark alley at about 3 in the   
morning.  
"You have it bad with this recruits don't you?" Jun asked a very stupid  
question  
"What do you think!" Zuko snapped, now this isn't nice! She was just  
asking, ohh who am I kidding! Its bluntly obvious what the answer is!

That's it for this chapter, next time...Its Halloween time! And yeah I know   
it aint Halloween for another few weeks, but the way I've been updating  
lately, it could be bleedin' Christmas and yeah I'm gunna do a Christmas  
chapter later on...Way later on

Jun: Well that was werid and unusual, so how come this is different from   
other lame fics?  
Naiowa: Because unlike other lame fics we have the nerve to roast the most  
popular characters, be original and funny, while still admitting this is a  
lame fic.  
Raesha: Yeah, I can't wait till our next roasting of a character! Its fun!  
Suki: OOOOOOOOOOOO! Suki asks if there can there be M&Ms!  
Sakura: Yeah, their gunna be lots of M&Ms


	16. It's time for Halloween

Yeah, its Halloween was like weeks ago, I know shame on me ect. And very  
sorry...Anyway, enjoy the chapter and review please! Naiowa: Yeah enjoy the  
chapter cause you never know when the next one will show up and one  
question. Where the hell was Jun when Zuko's ship went kablooy?

The-3-Amigos: The whole brain and I.Q thing is just a speculation Zuko:  
HEY! I HAVE A BRAIN! Naiowa; He just don't use it much...Wait, no my bad  
that's Raesha Raesha: HEY! I'M SMARTER THAN ZUKO! I HAVE A BRAIN!...So I've  
been told. Naiowa: Congrats on insulting Zuko- fun for the whole family!

Sokkazukofan: Naiowa: Well, I'm not quit sure he has an I.Q but if he does,  
we expect it to around the negatives Suki: SUKI SAYS YAH! GLUE STICKS ARE  
YUMMY!

Mdalia: Naiowa: Who says we don't respect Zuko...Wait, we don't! And it  
Jun's fault! Jun: HOW IS IT MY FAULT! Naiowa: Your some lame goth chick?  
Jun: (gets hella mad)

Suki: SUKI LOVES HALLOWEEN!  
Naiowa: You haven't even had any sugar and you already hyper...YOUR ONLY  
GETTING SUGAR FREE LOLLIES! (Candy for whoever doesn't know)  
Raesha: Whatever...THE AUTHORESS/WRITER/PERSON/THINGY DOESN'T OWE JACK! NOT  
EVEN ON HALLOWEEN!

It was Halloween in the Avatar world, why we don't know if its called Earth  
I dunno. It could be called Jupiter or Uranus for all we know, I hope its  
not Uranus...Anyway, since it was Halloween, it usually means watching lame  
horror movies or going trick-or-treating, or if you happen to be like our  
strange and deranged recruits- Pranks.

Zuko was walking down a hall for the hell of it  
"Wasn't I just telling my Uncle to shut up about tea!" Zuko asked, you were  
but now your not...Deal with it, Zuko just rolled his eyes and continued  
walking for no apparent reason.  
"SUKI WANNA KNOW IF ZUKO KNOWS WHAT DAY IT IS!" Suki said, happy, Zuko  
twitched, out of the recruits Suki was possibly the most annoying, it was a  
pretty close tie between her, Raesha and Naiowa.  
"Monday" Zuko says, monotone...  
"No! Suki says, its Halloween! Can Suki, friends and goth lady go trick or  
treating!" Suki asked.  
"Oh sure by the way...WE'RE ON A FRIGGEN SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!"  
Zuko yells. Suki shrugs and said  
"So, we can still go knocking on peoples doors!" Suki said, running off  
before Zuko could protest- as if Suki would pay attention anyway. Zuko  
sighed, another day to cross of the calendar...

Raesha, Keiana, Sakura and Naiowa were not doing pranks! Mind my vulgar  
language but what the hell!  
"SHhhhhhhh! Watching Monty Python movies; shut up Eddie" Naiowa said, (a/n:  
I don't owe Monty Python,) what no horrible yet hilarious pranks!  
"That's later, comedy movies now; pranks later- were trying to get Jun to  
laugh- I think someone gave her a shot of botox" Sakura said, Jun who indeed  
was sitting there with a "I'm practically a member of the living dead  
because of boredom" look, I don't think she gets British comedy.

Suki came out wearing a black robe, it was long and flowing, and had a  
"Hogwarts" symbol on it (A/n: don't owe, don't ask, like everything else here! Naiowa:  
yeah, really do you really have to question that?)  
She also had a scythe; I hope that's fake. "Hey "Grim"" Jee said, playing  
along with Suki's disguise?  
"SUKI IS DEATH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Suki declared, she really needs  
to take evil laughing 101. She swung her scythe at Jee, who dropped to the  
ground to miss it, the sytche left a nasty cut on the wall...Yeah the scythe  
is real, I guess our prop guy is on coffee break, or permanent vacation.  
"YOU FLIPPIN' PSYCHOPATH!" Jee screamed, running for his life.  
"SUKI SAYS GET BACK HERE! TRICK OR TREAT! HEY! SUKI WANTS HER M&MS  
ALREADY!" Suki yells, running after Jee. Man I think this is the longest  
time Jee has appeared in a chapter...First time for everything I guess.  
Jee continued running from Suki and into the "Comedy-Movie-  
Night-thingy-while-really-trying-to-get-Jun-to-laugh-scheme"  
"HEY DOWN IN FRONT YA BOOZER! Uhh. LOSER! Sorry, cue card had a smudge  
on it" Raesha said, Jee glared at Raesha for the boozer comment. Even though  
Jee is a little fond of the bottle.  
"I AM NOT YOU LIAR! AND SUKI IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" Jee screams. Jun  
stilled seemed un-phrased by the whole thing.  
"Point?" Keiana asked, if Zuko wasn't everyone's punching bag, or couldn't  
be found- Jee was punching bag #2. Like a reserve or something.  
Jee sighed before walking off and saying,  
"Never mind...I'll just call Suicide Hotline, Naiowa gave me the number"  
then a mobile (cell phone) rang.  
"Mobiles as well?" Jun asked.  
"Yup, we don't exactly follow the uhh technical details of the show...Or  
anything related to the show really" Sakura explained, Naiowa answered the  
phone and said those ever annoying operator chick voice:  
" Suicide hotline...Please hold"  
There was a scream from wherever the hell Jee was.

Lets face facts: Jee sucks and no one really cares what he does...He's like  
the Kuwabara (the carrot top dofus off Yu Yu Hakusho) of the Avatar  
world...Wait sorry that's Sokka, hmm I guess he's closer to hmm...Wow I  
think Jee might be in a league of his own  
lack-of-fan-ness-so-no-one-really-cares-what-happens-to-him.

"Wow Eddy, I think you insulted all the Kuwabara fans out there...As well as  
Jee fans...Wait Jee has fans?" Keiana complimented/asked. Sakura shrugs  
"Well there are a few Zhou fans out there"  
"Wow, anyone can get fans these days" Raesha says.  
"Yeah...There's hope for you Jun!" Naiowa said, getting on Jun's nerves  
which aint that hard.  
Jun fumed and walked off. Whoopdy do...

"SUKI WAILS! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NO ONE IS CELEBRATING HALLOWEEN WITH  
SUKI! WAAAAAH!" Suki wailed.  
"Ahhh cause it's the suckiest holiday ever, and only good for throwing eggs  
at random people...For example...ZUKO! GET YOUR PYRO BUTT IN HERE!" Keiana  
yells, Zuko who was doing uhh...Hell what was he doing?

"More like: Who cares" Naiowa said, I agree... Wow, I just realized, 16  
chapters and the Zuko fanatics hadn't come after the writer/authoress/reason  
for our misery with pitchforks and torches while screaming: HERETIC!  
"What do you freaks want?" Zuko demands, Keiana threw a bunch of eggs at  
Zuko.  
"Nothing, I just wanted to throw eggs at someone" Keiana said, as Zuko wiped  
egg off his face.  
"SUKI LAUGHS AT ZUKO'S PAIN AND MISERY!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Suki said,  
cheering up a little. Wow now we know what to do to make Suki's  
day...Torture Zuko!  
"I HATE YOU ALL!" The Exiled Prince Of All Things Pyro (a/n: That is  
sooooooo copyrighted: P Naiowa: As if anyone would want to use it) screams  
before fuming off.  
"WE THINK YOU SUCK TOO!" Sakura yells.  
"Nothing like making Zuko feel no taller than an ant always seem to make me  
happy" Keiana said.  
"So, will Suki's friends come trick-or-treating with Suki? Suki thinks you  
might get to do pranks!" Suki says, the girls and Naiowa's eyes lit up witch  
is kinda creepy for Naiowa considering her eyes are red and shes a cat.  
"Of course we'll be "happy" to uhh "celebrate" Halloween with you Suki!"  
Raesha said scheming pranks already.  
"SUKI CELEBRATES YAY! COME ON THEN! LETS GO!" Suki yells, dragging Keiana,  
Sakura and Raesha along, Naiowa followed along with a roll of toilet paper  
in her mouth...

Their first victim was Solider, who didn't have a door to knock on but  
rather those long dangling beads and a cowbell, under the cowbell was a sign  
saying:  
'PEACE ON THIS NAMELESS WORLD/DIMENSION/PLANET/PLACE/THING-OWED-BY-NICK!'  
"SUKI SAYS TRICK-OR-TREAT!" Suki yells.  
"Uhh Suki, listen about the trick-or-treat thing, ya see me and the girls,  
we do trick-AND-treat" Naiowa said, who had the roll of toilet paper  
sitting next to her.  
"Uhhh ok...SUKI STANDS CORRECTED! TRICK-AND-TREAT!" Suki yells.  
"Like hi dudettes, and little uhh...Catette. Like Halloween is like sooo  
totally radical and-"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah cut the crap and give Suki her candy so we can throw eggs  
at you" Keiana said.  
"Uhh...Right...Candy, candy is like awesome...But I don't have any of the  
kewl stuff like that...But Crazy Dudette your in luck! I have this like  
awesome shoelace!" Soldier said, putting the shoelace in Suki's bag.  
"SUKI THANKS THE WEIRD TALKING HIPPIE!" Suki yells,  
"Like no prob- Soldier never got to finish he sentence due to six eggs  
getting thrown at his face, courteously of our original new guys three plus  
cat.

Suki danced up and down the hall, next was some random and never appearing  
in this fic again people so we'll just cut the crud and tell you that Suki  
got a stick of gum, a burned wall nut, and a book called "Astrophysics for  
Dummies" (A/n: A shout out to my buddy (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE:P) who came  
up with that during a total random moment of our lives...And if there is a  
book out there called Astrophysics for Dummies, I don't own it,...)  
The three random people got a kick in the shin, pie in the face, and a  
wedgie...All free!  
"Suki scored lotsa stuff! But no M&Ms! SUKI WANT M&MS!" Suki complained,  
apparently Zuko had forbade lollies, candy, sweets after they got a huge  
ship load of it due to a misprint on one piece of paper outta one hundred  
and they couldn't get rid of it so for a while Zuko's ship was a candy  
store. Needless to say Zuko didn't like the screaming little kids, the  
wannabe little kids, and the freaks and weirdoes who don't have anything  
better to do than hang around candy stores or the huge mess that they made  
and when the troops got a hold of the pixy stixs...All hell broke loose in a  
sense. Toliet paper, beer cans, and empty pizza boxes everywhere. And Zuko  
to pay for it. All of it.

But Iroh who can generally get away with anything cause he's well...Iroh,  
had long since had his own stash of candy/lollies/junk food/stuff for a  
sugar high. Unfortunately for him, Suki can smell these things out and has  
been on a war path to Iroh's stash- "NO! PLEASE! NOT MY SECRET  
STASH! I NEED THAT! ITS MY PRECIOUS NEXT TO TEA!"  
"Was it just me, or did Iroh just cut of Eddy?" Keiana pointed out.  
"Yeah, I think he did...You can do that?" Sakura asked.  
"Wow...this might change Narration in fanfiction history" Raesha also  
pointed that.  
"Suki thinks you already did that when gave the narrator a  
personality...Sorta" Suki says..  
"Wow...This is kinda weird" Raesha said  
"Yeah...We should give Iroh a medal for cutting Eddy off...Or at lease a tea  
bag" Sakura comments.  
"SUKI STILL WANTS HER M&MS! AND M&MS SUKI SHALL GET!"

Two hours later and the girls giving Iroh a tea bag for cutting Eddy off.  
Suki is running down the halls screaming: YAY! SUKI FINALLY GOT  
M&MS!  
While Iroh was cooking tea, Zuko reading a book called:" Capturing the  
Avatar for dummies" HEY I WANTED TO GIVE HIM THAT FOR CHRISTMAS! Oh  
well, the girls playing Poker and Jun taking a hike because we have no idea  
what the hell happens to her...In short, another typical ending for the New  
guys..

WOW! BOUT BLOODY TIME! THANKS FOR ALL WHO WAITED SOO PAIENTLY FOR  
THIS CHAPTER! SO REVIEW! ANYWAY NEXT TIME! IT'S A NEW GUIYS CHRISTMAS  
CUZ THE AUTHORESS/WRITER SUCKS AT UPDATING!  
Jun: FREE! I'M FREE OF THOSE FREAKS!  
Raesha: Awwwwwww, we we're gunna hook you up with Iroh!  
Jun: ((screams and runs off))  
Iroh: Awww...  
Suki: YAY CHRISTMAS!


	17. Miracles occur, and they need help!

**The New Guys…Chapter 17: OMG IT'S A MIRACLE-RETURN THING!!!**

* * *

My sincerest apologies for not updating in like…forever, computer issues, blocks, trying to keep in tune with the show (man how things change!) and everything else in between. I cannot promise you an x-mas chappy- once again I apologize as I looked forward to typing one of those…Anyway, I am not sure where this fic should head (Nai: you didn't from the start…) now that Zuko and Iroh's all tea-shopping hippies…Anyway, read on and tell me what you think…If you're still reading (which I am grateful if you are…)

**Squirt The Vampire: **Nai: Eggnog + Zuko: as Mr. Burns would say "Excelllllllant" but since the author/writer/idget-who-writes-this sucks there wont be an x-mas chappy. Yet. The author appreciates your idea. Zuko: TT;; why do you pick on me?! Nai: BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT AND MAKE IT EASY!!

**Sokkazukofan: **All: THANK YOU FOR YOUR GIFTS!!!! Jun: twitch fanboys? Nai: be happy- it means your not totally gothic and emo. Zuko: A wig? Why I outta- Keiana: Thank the nice reviewer for thinking of you.

Author/Writer/Idget that hadn't updated in forever: Ok all together now

All: Dragon-Racer101 says sorry again and owes….NOTHING!!

Nai: Also, we now accept Master Card and American Express

Raesha: Oh…we didn't before?

* * *

"Suki welcomes all to chapter 17- the chapter where we sit around, talk…and yeah…pretty much what happened the last 16 chapters or so" Suki says, sitting in a large comfy chair next to a huge bowl of M&M's. Around her where the other people involved in this neglected fic (Nai: like anyone cared?).

"As people watching Avatar know, the show has taken some weird twists and turns." Keiana says, sipping at a magarita.

"Yeah! Theres some newbie blind kid called Toph whos pretty neat and stuff, Zuko and Iroh got a tea shop!!!" Raesha says.

"Yeah…Which brings us to this chapters sub- Ah-um Sakura your forgetting something else- Zhao, the unforgettable monkey-man/sasquatch has died…Or is floating around some other dimension and that Azula's chick is crazy…Oh and that Zuko is very poetic.

"As I was saying" Sakura says, ignoring all that Eddy has said.

"The point of this story is well, where should it go? Should it continue being totally random and off the wall- Zuko still with the ship and crew and whatever, or should it follow the show, and well…. Have the us hang around Ba Sing Se with Zuko and Iroh." She said, brushing her tail- hey that thing's furry to ya' know?!

"So that's our big delimena…If you wanna blow it out of proportion like everything else in this sucktacular fic" Keiana said.

"I say, we don't do anything, I haven't felt this great since- well I was back home with mummy- I mean mother" Zuko says, revealing that he is in fact, a mumma's boy, and that his sister's a total bitch…Moving on.

"No one cares what you want, or think…So shut the hell up" Naiowa said, licking her paws.

"There's only one way to settle this" Iroh says, waiting for a dramatic pause…1…2…3 and that's long enough.

"Let the reviewers decide" Iroh concluded, everyone looked at him with a "Duh" look.

"Seriously, what did you think we were gunna do? Call up Nick studios and ask them?!" Sakura snapped at the now-decidedly-old man.

"And the only way we can do that is do a series of semi-pointless flashbacks and ideas for this p-o-s fic!" Raesha said.

"YAY!!! MOVIE TIME!! SUKI GOTS THE M&M'S AND GLUE!!" Suki declared, everyone pulled up chairs and sat in front of a protector, the girls throwing popcorn and various other candies at Zuko's head.

"Hey mop-top! Down in front!" Keiana yells, hurling a slurpee at him. "CUT IT OUT!!" Yelled Zuko, shaking his newly grown hair and making ice shard things everywhere.

"Sush the movies starting" Iroh said, sipping at a cup of tea.

**Insert corny opening music here**

A new perkier voice began narrator.

"The New Guys, it began as a crappy fanfic, knocking one of the most popular characters in the animated series "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and well, nothing as changed…Lets take a look at how this fic ended up where it is now"

It was a partially cloudly day with 30 precipitation and 95 condesation, and some other weird weather words with a 100 chance of stupidity. As three girls and the most sarcastic, rudest cat that ever existed got sent to an annoying prince that yells at people, has a short temper, and had a lot of fangirls who would most likely want to kill the author/writer for bashing the object of there affection. From then on it was shopping sprees, cleaning days, pranks galore, constant Zuko-bashing, Iroh-bashing, and well anybody else bashing. Screwed up contracts, ship parties, dates, Zuko being drunk and ruining "Hollaback girl" and M&Ms…Lots of M&M's.

"HEY THEY MENTIONED SUKI'S M&M'S!!! SUKI'S HAPPY!!" Suki exclaimed, as everybody knew, Suki is always happy…So this isn't really a surprise. "Well duh…What would it be Skittles?" (A/N: No, I don't own Skittles either…Nai: She does eat them though A/N: running low on material aint ya? Nai:…..You suck.) "Shut up, I wanna hear the crappy commentary" Keiana says, placing the now empty pop corn bucket on top of Naiowa.

The movie then flashed to Sokka, Katara, Toph and Aang.

"I liked it, they were really nice! And told funny stories" Aang said happily. Toph shrugged, "how should I know? I haven't even _met_ them, so I don't really care where this stupid story goes, I'm just here 'cause I have to be" Toph explained, which was the truth.

"For firebenders, they don't seem quite as evil…Actually, when I asked for a soda and a burger they went and got me Zukos-

"So that's where my burger went! YOU TOLD ME THOSE STUPID DUCKS ATE IT!!" Zuko yelled, Raesha shushed him as Sokka continued.

"Then I realize they put laxatives in the soda- wait…that is evil…I HATE YOU GUYS!!" Sokka screeched at the camera.

Zuko sniggered- oh my god he sniggered, and he's sober! It's a miracle! "All is forgiven- well that one incident anyway" He said- the girls didn't care if they were forgiven, it just ment more pranks.

Then it Katara's turn, she reckoned they were nice and it was a shame they were stuck with Zuko.

"IT'S A SHAME I'M STUCK WITH THEM!!" Zuko yelled, throwing his uncle's milk dud's (A/n: do I really need to state that I owe anything again? Cause I think its kinda obvious at what I do and don't own) at the screen. Jeez, all this off-fic time and he still acts like theres a fishing rod up his butt.

"You said it Eddy" Keiana agreed, nodding her head, yes I know I'm right. After watching the tape of flashbacks and comments of "haha I remember that!" and "Zuko, you looked like a bigger moron there" they sat around a small fire, roasting various scripts, personal scrolls belonging to the crew, complaining letters, various requests, and some lawsuits. Discussing what should occur next in this surprising screwy fic.

"We could see what would happen if the girls hanged around Zuko after the whole North Pole thing" Naiowa said, holy shit she said something without insulting someone…MIRACLES ARE BECOMING COMMON!!! "Shut up jackass" She said, going back to loathing everyone and everything.

"Yeah, or just continue to abuse various characters like Azula and her posse, people seem to dig it" Raesha said, throwing a scroll that said "free zuko from these evil people" into the inferno/fire thing.

"Right…Well it depends on what the reviewers want to read, I mean, where are we without them?" Sakura said, stating a very obvious thing. "Oh like you've never done that!"

"Well Reviewers, you heard the crew, their crappy destiny is in your hands! Should they follow Zuko and the show mocking it? Or should it be like it has always been- Just whatever and aloof? That's up to you so send in your thoughts so they can all stop pretending to be deep and insightful!" Blaze said, suddenly talking in this one time thing.

* * *

Wow ... that was the most serious thing ever written on this lame fic. Anyway, review for the future of this fic depends on you!!!

Nai: Well, we better get ready to go to the unemployment office.

Raesha: Just to let you all know…I loved working with you all! Except you Zuko, and Jee.

Keiana: I just don't give a damn, so there.

Zuko: I'M CLOSE TO FREEDOM!!

Sakura: We cant have that now…SO REVIEW!!

Suki: M&M's!!!


End file.
